SPOILER SPACE
821 - The One With The Baby Shower Taping date: March 15th, 2002 Airdate: April 25th, 2002 Written by Ellen Plummer & Sherry Bilsing Directed by Kevin S. Bright Spoiler by: Marita Bakken & Ane Jegstad
Teaser: Monica and Chandler�s apartment. The apartment is beautifully decorated for Rachel�s baby shower. There are flowers, cakes, candy, fruit and decorations all over the place. They had even decorated the outside of the door with baby clothes. The episode starts with Monica and Phoebe standing in the kitchen. They�re preparing food for the baby shower as Rachel enters. �So what�s the latest headcount for the baby shower?� Rachel asks. Phoebe says that there will be about 20 because some of the people from Rachel�s work couldn�t come. Monica tells Rachel that neither of her two sisters could come. Rachel says that she�s not surprised since there will be no booze or boys at the party, but she�s just happy that her mother will be there. Monica and Phoebe look at each other with weird looks on their faces, realizing that they have forgotten to invite her mom. Monica says that Phoebe was in charge of the invitations, but Phoebe makes up an excuse involving her mother�s death, so she�s off the hook. Rachel asks them to call her mom since it�s really important to her to have her there. Phoebe asks what her mother�s number is, but Rachel says, �Off the top of my head? Seriously?� And then she leaves. They shot two versions of this scene with the other version ending with Rachel exclaiming, �I don�t know!� before she left. Monica says she has her number in her book and starts dialing the number. As she waits, she stops for a second and tells Phoebe that this should be her responsibility since she was in charge of the invitations. But Sandra Green answers the phone, and Monica starts talking to her. Monica asks her to come to the �impromptu� baby shower at 4 p.m. Sandra says dryly that she heard about the �impromptu� baby shower one month ago when her daughters received their invitations. Monica gets a bit flustered and leans over to Phoebe whispering, �My ass is sweating!� After she convinces Sandra to come, Monica hangs up. Phoebe then reminds her that the baby shower is at 3 p.m., not 4. �Son of a bitch!� Monica shouts and starts dialing again.
Scene 1: Joey�s apartment Joey is sitting in his La-Z-Boy, looking at a script when Ross and Chandler enter. They�re all dressed in sweatpants and sweaters, and Chandler is holding a basketball. �Hey, Joe, you wanna play some hoops?� Chandler asks and throws the ball to Joey. �No, I can�t,� Joey says. �Neither can Chandler, but that doesn�t stop him,� Ross says, grinning. They shot this sequence three times, and they changed the lines in the other two times to some lines where Chandler said he had problems blocking the tall one and Ross said that the tall one was a girl. Joey tells Ross and Chandler that he has an audition for a new game show called �Bamboozled.� �How great will it be if I get to be Dr.Ramoray during the day, and [in an �announcer� kind of voice] Joey Tribbiani� at night?, he says. Chandler points out that it�s a good thing that Joey Tribbiani already is his name. �That�s already your name�, Chandler says sarcastically. Joey also says that he thinks it would be great to have a game show like Bob Barker on �The Price is Right.� He claims that Barker�s career has lasted for 75 years. Chandler says that he doesn�t think the ratings were particularly good the first 25 years since there was no TV back then. Joey tells them that �Bamboozled� is a difficult game show with lots of rules, and he isn�t good at games. Ross points out that he beat Ben in �Hungry, Hungry Hippo� last week, but Joey admits that Ben let him win. Ross suggests that they can help him out. �I thought we were going to play!� Chandler exclaims. �Please...� Joey says. �Okay, I can suck at this game some other time.� Chandler says. They changed this line several times, e.g. to, �I guess we can get beaten by junior high-school girls some other time,� and �I guess we can get beaten by 11 year old girls some other time.� The last two versions got the best response from the audience. Chandler and Ross sit down on Joey�s green stools in the middle of his apartment, and they start the game show. Joey asks them if they think �Bamboozled� is a cool name. Ross says �Yeah!� and is very excited while Chandler says �no.� Big laughter from the audience! Joey introduces himself and asks Ross to tell a little about himself. Ross says his name, that he�s a paleontologist living in New York plus that he has a son named Ben. �Hi Ben!� he smiles and waves to the �camera.� Before he [Ross] can go any further Joey interrupts him and says �I said a little bit, Ross�. It is very obvious that Ross is perhaps a little too excited about the show at this point. Joey walks over to Chandler and asks him to introduce himself. �Well, Joey, I�m a head-hunter. I hook up out-of-work Soviet scientists with rogue third world nations,� Chandler says. �Hi Rasputin�, he continues as he waves to the �camera.� Matthew Perry had huge problems getting this line right, and they had to shoot it at least ten times before he got it right. When he managed to say it, Matt messed up, and Matthew just looked exasperated. This was just hilarious! It�s time for the questions, and Joey starts. �What is the capital in Colombia?� �Bogota,� Chandler replies, pronouncing it correctly. �Sorry, that was Bogota [pronounced in an American-English way which was wrong],� Joey says, �but it�s close enough.� Ross and Chandler look at each other. Joey asks Chandler if he would like a �Wicked Wango� card, and Chandler asks what that is. Joey explains that it decides whether you go higher or lower. �Higher or lower from what?� Chandler wonders. Joey looks blankly at him, and smiles. �This is embarrassing, I should know this!� he says in the �announcer� voice, and starts looking through his script. Chandler leans over to Ross and says, �Can you believe how lame this is?� Ross merely says,� I don�t believe the contestants are allowed to talk to each other,� and looks a bit smug.
Scene 2: Monica and Chandler�s apartment The guests have arrived at the baby shower. There are about 15-20 women there. One of them is the girl who looked at Rachel when she stole Ross� money in 722 TOW Chandler�s Dad. Phoebe and Monica are in the kitchen, while Rachel sits in the comfortable chair in the living room. Phoebe tells Monica that she told the stripper to come at five. Monica is shocked, and tells Phoebe that that is very inappropriate for a baby shower. �But he�s going to be dressed as a baby!� Phoebe says. Sandra Green, Rachel�s mom, arrives, and Monica, still feeling guilty about not inviting her, rushes over to welcome her. She takes her coat and says that she cannot feel worse about it. �Try,� Sandra says, and walks away. Monica feels awful now that she knows that Sandra is angry with her. Phoebe says that she must forget about it, and think about how she won�t have to make small talk with so many people at the party. Monica is still worried, and she tells Phoebe that she must go and �powder her ass.� Courteney had to say this line over and over again since they shot the scene so many times, so in the end she looked up at the audience and grinned, �Okay, I�m going to say it one more time, people,� making the audience laugh out loud. She also said that she is not powdering her ass for real� She had the audience in stitches! Sandra and Rachel are talking in the living room. �Look at this face,� Sandra says. �If I didn�t know better, I�d say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Just three weeks to go now!� Sandra proceeds to ask her whom she�s going to hire as a nanny, because she cannot make her housekeeper do both tasks because it will destroy the housekeeper�s focus. Rachel just looks at her and says that she�s not going to hire a nanny, and she cannot afford to have a housekeeper. �Gosh, it�s like you�re a cave-person,� Sandra gasps. �I guess I forget that not everybody gets alimony.� Sandra says that Rachel should have someone like their Mrs. K, who the Green-family had when Rachel was a girl. �Oh, I remember her,� Rachel says. �She taught me Spanish, and I think I remember some of it: �Tu madre es loca.�. What was her name?� �I don�t know,� Sandra shrugs. �She was the nanny.� All of a sudden Sandra gets an idea and suggests that she can move in with Rachel for eight weeks and help her out. She gives her daughter a hug and notes that Rachel has tears in her eyes. Rachel is obviously not happy about this.
Scene 3: Joey�s apartment The game show is in full swing. Joey and Ross are both really into the whole thing; Chandler is not having much fun. Ross is in the lead, and Chandler gets a question. He doesn�t want to play any more because he thinks it�s really stupid, but Joey forces him to sit down. Ross talks about all these crazy cards that you can get in the game, like the �Angel-pass� to get to the �Golden Monkey.� Joey asks Chandler if he wants a �Gimme-card.� Chandler accepts, and it turns out that the card makes Ross lose all of his points to Chandler. �This game is fun!� Chandler grins. Ross starts to protest, but Chandler points out that he doesn�t think the contestants are supposed to talk to each other. Joey walks over to Ross and asks if he wants to spin the �Wheel of Mayhem.� �The wheel hasn�t been my friend tonight,� Ross muses. Joey tells Ross to hold his breath, to which Ross replies that he�s fine. However Joey points out that he has to hold his breath (some rule). Chandler says �Joey asks him the question, �What are you afraid of when you have tre.. tri� tr..� He doesn�t know how to pronounce the word, so he walks over to Chandler, who says the word is triskaidekaphobia. �Triskets!� Ross says. But it turns out it is the number 13. Ross then says �they have really sharp edges�. Ross announces that he wants to hold on to his �Angel-pass�, while Chandler finally snaps, yelling, �this game makes no sense!!� They shot a few additional reactions for Chandler. One where he said, �Are you sure you don�t wanna try the blabla [best described as a typical Chandler sound] card?�, one where he said �there are no winners here� and one where he said �C�mon Ross, I think we�re both losers here.�
Scene 4: Monica and Chandler�s apartment Monica and Phoebe are standing at the table. Phoebe asks Monica whether the party is going to end soon because people are itching to go home, and by �people,� she means herself. Monica is getting increasingly desperate due to Sandra�s unwillingness to forgive her, and she points out that it shouldn�t be so hard. �I�m sorry, Sandra. That�s okay, Monica. And by the way, you look very pretty,� Monica says. Phoebe looks at her before she says, �I have a new respect for Chandler�. Great response from the audience. Rachel comes over, having no idea what to say to her mother after her suggestion. �I love my mom, but even a lunch is taxing!� Rachel says. � Monica encourages her to tell it to her mom right away, and not to take no for an answer. Rachel thinks it�s a good idea because she doesn�t want her mom to sleep in her bed; and after she leaves, Monica tells Phoebe that this means that Sandra will hate Rachel and not her. �And afterwards, I can swoop in and be the daughter she never had,� Monica beams. Phoebe walks over to the presents, and yells, �Who wants to open the presents?� The way she says �presents� is totally hilarious. Monica hurries over to Sandra and says that they should open Sandra�s present first since she�s the baby�s grandma and the most important person not only in the room, but in the world. Sandra glares at her. �I don�t have a gift since I wasn�t invited before the last minute, but thanks for bringing that to everybody�s attention,� she says to Monica and walks over to the kitchen. Rachel joins her mom in the kitchen, and she tells her that she doesn�t care about the fact that she didn�t get a present from her. Sandra points out that she just gave Rachel herself for eight weeks after the birth. Rachel tells her mom that she will be just fine on her own, but Sandra doesn�t believe her. �Remember Twinkles?� she says. �That was a hamster!� Rachel cries. �I�m not going to vacuum up my own baby!� Phoebe is over by the presents in the living room, and yells, �Rachel, you�re the glue that holds this party together, and it�s kind of falling apart.� Phoebe gives her a beautiful pink bassinet, filled with baby-stuff that�s from her colleagues at work, and Rachel starts looking through it. She picks up a breast pump and grins. �A baby beer bong?� she laughs. The guests look at her, and Sandra tells her that it�s a breast pump. �Did I say I was done guessing?� Rachel says uneasily. She picks up a diaper-genie and asks what it�s for, and one of the guests tells her it�s a diaper-genie. Rachel thinks it�s for dispensing clean diapers, and she becomes shocked when the guests tell her what it�s really for, and that babies need to be changed ten times a day. �What are we feeding the baby, Indian food?� Rachel cries. Rachel says that she will just take the dirty diapers out and throw them in the garbage outside. Sandra asks her where she�ll put the baby while she�s outside, and Rachel replies, �on the changing table.� The guests are shocked, and Sandra explains that you can never leave a baby alone, ever. Rachel tries to move away from the topic by thanking her colleagues for the beautiful basket. �It�s a bassinet,� her colleague tells her. Rachel is visibly upset by now, so she says that she wants to open the presents later and �mommy, don�t ever leave me.� They shot the last part three times, and Rachel said, �Only 8 weeks?� (to her mom), and �You can sleep in my bed� in the two other versions. At this point the guys came back to the stage, and Matthew Perry walked over to the audience and asked, �Are you guys ready to laugh really hard?�
Scene 5: Joey�s apartment The game show is getting pretty intense at this point, and both Chandler and Ross are doing their best. Joey: �In which movie can you find the line; �Badges? We ain't got no badges'?�� Chandler: �The Treasures of Sierra Madre!� Joey: �Backwards-bonus?� Chandler: �Madre Sierra of Treasures The!� They had a lot of questions, and the guys also mentioned the different stages of the game, such as �Mudhut,� �Hungry Monkey,� �Wicked Wango,� �Time Turtle� etc. Joey walks over to Ross and asks him a lot of questions, including one about the theme song for �I Dream of Jeannie,� and one about Queen Victoria. Ross decides to get a �hopping-bonus,� which means that he�s hopping on one leg while answering on Joey�s questions. However, he loses his bonus when he forgets to change legs in between the questions. Ross gets really upset. It�s Chandler�s turn, and he chooses a �Google-card.� However, this time he loses his points, and Ross wins. Joey says in his �announcer-voice,� �Chandler, you have just been Bamboozled!� �This is the worst game!!� Chandler yells. This scene had the audience in stitches. It was absolutely hilarious, and among the funniest scenes this season.
Scene 6: Monica and Chandler�s apartment There are baby clothes, toys, bassinets and other baby things all over the apartment at this point. Matthew had no other scenes to shoot, so he waved at the audience and left when they started shooting this scene. Rachel is still freaked out over the whole baby-issue and doesn�t know what to do about it. She says that she has read many books about pregnancy and giving birth, but she has no idea what to do when the baby comes. �Can I throw up in my diaper genie?� she asks. Her mother comforts her and gives her a hug. Monica jumps into the hug as well, hoping to make Sandra forgive her. Sandra goes to the bathroom. At the last take she added a �it was worth a shot!�. Meanwhile, Ross enters. Phoebe and Monica look at him. He�s jumping up and down, still very hyper after the game show in Joey�s apartment. �Why are you so red and sweaty?� Phoebe asks. �I just bamboozled Chandler!� Ross says, adding, �Which is not a sexual thing. So, this was a quick shower?� �Not if you were here,� Phoebe says. Ross walks over to Rachel who�s sitting on the couch. He thinks they have got a lot of great stuff, and Rachel says that the best gift came from her mom. �A play-doh barbershop?� Ross asks excitedly. Rachel tells him that her mom will live with them to help her out for the first eight weeks, and Ross is shocked. He says that Sandra will drive them crazy, but Sandra emerges from the bathroom and interrupts him. �Hey roomie!� he exclaims quickly and gives her a hug.
Scene 7: Joey�s audition for �Bamboozled� Joey enters, ready to audition for the game show. He meets Ray, the show�s producer, and there are also two other people there who are supposed to be game show contestants. Ray tells Joey that they�re called Duncan and Erin, but Joey immediately forgets Erin�s name. He introduces himself, and starts asking questions, all the while using the �announcer�-voice. Ray stops him and asks whether he has received the new script for the show. It turns out that the show has dropped all the rules in the game, and it�s now going to be a regular game show where people just answer questions. Joey says that the rules aren�t hard at all, and he lists them all in perfect order. (The rules included, �spinning the wheel,� �climbing the ladder of chance,� �mudhat,� �rainbow,� �golden monkey,� �yanking the monkey�s tail,� and go to the �Paradise Pond.�) However, the producer still wants a regular show, so Joey says, �What�s the fun in that?� He doesn�t want to be a part of a boring show like that, but the producer tells him that there will be girls in bikinis holding up the scores. Joey grins. �Let�s play Bamboozled!!� he yells.
Scene 8: Monica and Chandler�s apartment Sandra is talking to Ross and suggests that they should use an interior decorator in Ross and Rachel�s apartment since she prefers �jewel-tones.� �Who doesn�t?� Ross remarks dryly. Sandra says that they should also throw some of his dinosaur-knick-knacks in the garage. �But we don�t have a garage,� Ross says. �Did I say garage? I meant garbage,� Sandra says. She pronounces �garbage� almost exactly like �garage� just with a �b�. Ross has had enough, and he tells her that he will be there for Rachel. �Maybe it�s not vital that you live with us�, Ross tells Sandra. He says that she doesn�t have to stay because he�s used to children and had Ben on his own after Ben was born. Sandra stops and muses on the fact that Ross is about to have two children with two different women. �Have you no control, Ross?� she asks. �That�s not the issue,� Ross says uneasily. Instead, he points out that he�s going to do everything he has to do for the baby, and not only that, he wants to do it. Sandra blows him off and says that Dr.Green said the same thing, but when the 3 a.m. feedings started, he merely said, �I�m tired, you take care of it,� which she later used as an excuse to not have sex. Ross points out that he�s not Dr.Green, and, �no offence, but Dr.Green is an ass!� Sandra smiles, and says, �I do like you, Ross.� Sandra agrees to let them live on their own, and she says she�s sure Ross will make a great father. He returns the compliment, kisses her and says that she�ll be a great grandma. Rachel watches the whole scenario and shouts, �What about me? I still don�t know what the hell I�m doing!� First she just says �I still don�t know what I�m doing, but they later changed it to �I still don�t know what the hell I�m doing�. Ross thinks she�s overreacting since all first-time moms feel that way. Rachel begs to differ, and Monica and Phoebe agree that Rachel is not ready to have a baby. Ross sits down on the table in front of her. �When you came to the city you were a spoiled, helpless girl who still used her daddy�s credit card..� �I hope you�re going somewhere with this!� Rachel says. Ross smiles. �Look at you now! You�re this big time executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for, and you�ll be a great mom,� he says. They hug. Monica says that she�ll help out as well since she can baby-sit, and she has a car. �I can drive her out to her grandma,� she smiles, still trying to make Sandra forgive her. Sandra smiles at Ross and Rachel and decides to leave. �It�s like I�m not here,� she says. �Which I almost wasn�t,� she adds while glaring at Monica. Monica laughs uneasily and thinks Sandra is funny. Monica has no idea what to do now, but Phoebe is sick of Sandra and tells Monica to tell her off. Phoebe thinks Sandra should be grateful for the lovely, albeit slightly boring shower Monica threw for Rachel. Monica agrees and runs after Sandra in the hallway. �It�s rude to leave without saying goodbye to the host,� Monica says. She goes on to say that she thinks Sandra is being �plain spiteful�, and that �you need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror, young lady, old lady... eh, lady!� �Wrap it up, wrap it up,� Phoebe whispers. Monica says to the stunned Sandra that she�ll be there when Sandra is ready to apologize, and then Monica and Phoebe head back into the apartment. Monica closes the door and says that she cannot feel her legs. Phoebe says she�s very proud of her and that she did a great thing. Monica asks Phoebe to get her something to drink before she runs into the hallway again looking for Sandra (who has already left). We see Monica run to the stairs and falling flat on her face down the stairs. She yells (OS), �I just bit my tongue.. (weird sounds) but I�m schtill wewwy sowwy!�
Tag scene: Ross and Rachel�s apartment Ross and Rachel are sitting on the couch. Rachel is reading a huge book, while Ross is reading a magazine. Rachel slams the book shut, claiming that she�s ready, and that she knows her stuff now. Ross stands up and pulls up a few questions. �Rachel Green, get ready to play Bamboozled!� he says in the �announcer�-voice. Big laughter from the audience! Ross: �How do you test the bath water?� Rachel: �Stick my elbow in it.� Ross: �Oh, the ladder of chance (..) and you can get a hopping bonus, but I don�t think you should take it (obviously because Rachel is pregnant). What do you do when the baby does this: [cries like a baby]?� Rachel: �I check if it�s wet, hungry or (???)� After giving her answer, Rachel gets up to leave. Ross tells her that she has reached the �coconuts� (some rule again), but Rachel just looks at him and wonders whether she should move to her mom�s house. They shot another ending to this scene afterwards. Ross offers Rachel a �Wicked Wango� card, and she accepts. �You�re going to be a terrible mom!� Ross reads. Rachel looks shocked and leaves while slamming the door.
The Taping There were lots of scenes on the set. When we entered, we could see Sandra Green�s hallway, which was a really small, yellow set. Next to it we could see the room where Joey�s audition took place. Joey�s apartment, Monica and Chandler�s apartment and Ross and Rachel�s apartment were also there. Central Perk (even though they didn�t use the set in this episode) was between Chandler and Monica�s apartment and Ross and Rachel�s apartment. Some members of the crew relaxed on the couch and just hung out at the coffeehouse. The Central Perk set is freakishly small in real life. The prop-people who were in charge of decorating Monica and Chandler�s apartment for the baby shower also used Central Perk as a storage area for food and presents. The audience got strawberries (prop from the baby shower scenes) from Kim Bolanowski, a prop-person. They were delicious!
In between the takes where Sandra tells Rachel that she needs a nanny, Scott Sassa showed up and talked to Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox Arquette. He�s the boss of NBC�s entertainment department. There were lots of bloopers in this episode. Not only did we watch the bloopers show hosted by Conan O�Brien as some sort of warm-up before the cast came out, but the actors messed up their lines all the time. The guest star, Marlo Thomas, messed up her lines in literally every scene and tried to study the script in between the takes. In the first scene in Joey�s apartment, Joey was supposed to throw the basketball to Ross, but David didn�t catch it, and the other guys laughed at him. Matthew wasn�t the only one having problems with keeping a straight face during the �Bamboozled� scenes. Matt made David mess up as well as himself, and they had to do take after take until they got it right. It was so funny, especially when Matthew was trying to say �Joey, I�m a head hunter. I hook up out-of-work soviet scientists with rouge third world nations�. It took a long time to film this, but the audience was totally okay with that. They had to do many takes of the scene where Sandra and Ross talk and kiss, and Marlo Thomas joked that they could take it from the kissing-sequence all the time. David started laughing, and as a joke, they leaned in as if to kiss each other for real.