Examples from Friends

Hi, I gotta take a talk at church weekend after next, and it is on friendship, so I thought I'd use some bits about what it means ot be a true friend. There are heaps in friends. I have all the videos and will jsut copy short segments to illustrate it. Violates copyright I know, but I'm not making anythign from it, and hopefully I'll create a few friends fans who will go out and buy the video's for themselves. Anyway, i was wondering if you could maybe do me a small favor, and reccomend some bits. I have exams this week so I dont have any time to go through and watch all the episodes again. The main ones at the moment I have thought of is Phoebe asking Ross just to be a friend and accept her for thinking the cat is her mum... Phoebe saying she just wants to be alome after finding out about her mum, and then calling Monica, and Joey and Chandler missing the Vistorias secret thing to be with Ross (or something) The first two example are in the first 2 episodes of series 4. The other I'm not sure. Somewhere early/mid 3 I think. Can anyone help me out with more examples? I would really appreciate it. Thanks, Anthony

In article , Cappie says...

One example that I can vaguely remember is in season 2 (I forget which episode) where Joey & Chandler wanting to do last minute xmas shopping hitch a ride with Pheobe on her way to meeting her dad (whom she had never met before). Their shopping plans were ruined because Phoebe spent the whole time running back and forth from her taxi and her dad's house trying to pluck up courage to get beyond the driveway. The scene ends with Joey & Chandler offering Phoebe some conforting words.

Gowlan

I have another one, I think Joey breaking up with janine because Chandler and Monica, and Janine weren't getting along.

Others may disagree..

There are several other times though..

But most of the ones I could think of off the top of my head were already mentioned.

~Act

Cappie wrote in message ...

<snip>

Epsiode numbers for your suggestions are below. My suggestion to you would be Ross giving up his spot on a show on the Discovery Channel so that he could go with Rachel to the hospital to demonstrate how to be a friend, and Joey and Chandler arguing after Chadler kisses Kathy:

well that example has more to do with ross' pragmatism vs phoebe's mysticism. They've always had this internal conflict between the two of them over such issues. More relevant would be when joey loses his acting job as dr. ramore, and ross tries to talk to joey into taking a smaller part that joey doesnt want, and joey replies with something like 'a real friend would tell me everythings going to be allright' Later on they both admit they were wrong that ross should of been more supportive, and that joey should of realized that ross was only trying to give him a realistic view of the situation.

Cappie wrote:

Some people may disagree with you here, Cappie. TOW the Cat is a very unpopular episode, and a number of people find it offensive. Obviously, I'm one of them, but I'm not alone. Ross didn't yell at Phoebe because she thought the cat was her mother. He was uncomfortable with that, but he kept silent when it was just about her. Ross did not act until it became clear that Phoebe's obsession was actually hurting somebody else. Phoebe had somebody else's cat, and that person was a child looking for it. He told her the cat had to go back, and she replied that the cat had chosen her, so she ought to get to keep it. THAT'S when Ross got angry, and THAT'S he was put in the appalling situation of having to debase himself to an animal. That was a very bad example of friendship.

Sometimes a real friend is somebody who loves enough to tell you that you are doing something wrong. He's the only one of the six who showed integrity in that scene.

Please, find another example.

I do agree here, but it sounds good where she says that he should be a friend and just support her. it is a good soundbyte for the bit jsut before how friends should support you. I shouldn't just use a little bit out of context though. Good point. Cheers, Anthony

You ahve been incredible helpful. Thankyou so much. Cheers, Anthony

Claire Abraham wrote:

I totally agree. To bad you can't jump in and direct the episode the way you would if it were real life- I'd tell Phoebe to go fly a kite. As soon as Ross disagrees with the slightest little thing she decided, she hauls out all the big guns and puts her friendship with Ross on the line. Now, all of a sudden Ross is deciding between doing the right thing and returning a cat to it's rightful owner (ahem, "guardian" according to the Boulder, Colorado PC police), and keeping Phoebe as a friend. How utterly immature of Phoebe.

I disagree, Ross ridiculed her for her personal beliefs, because he didn't believe in reincarnation and thought it was a stupid idea. Obviously everyone thought Phoebe should give the cat back to the girl, they just didn't want to hurt her. I'm sure given a little more time they would have discussed that the cat had an owner with her, but to me it seemed like Ross only cared about making her look like an idiot for believing the cat was her mother reincarntated. Phoebe knew what the right choice was and I think her concience wouldn't have let her keep the cat, she just wanted to keep it around a little longer.

====== "Life is never without love" -Sheryl Crow

EsotericGrrrl wrote:

Read the script again. Ross did not confront Phoebe immediately. He *was* uncomfortable with her ideas, but he left her alone UNTIL Rachel found the flyer.

The dialogue: Rachel: You guys, you are never going to believe what I found tacked to a telephone pole. Look familiar?

Ross: Apparently, Phoebe's mother also goes by the name Julio.

Rachel: You guys, there's a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. Do you know what this means? ...

Do we have to tell her?

Ross: Yes, we have to tell her!

Monica But it's made her so happy.

Ross: (One hand) Little girl misses her cat. (Other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. OK, I have to go have dinner with my son. Can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her?

Sounds an AWFUL lot to me that Ross thinks that child ought to have her cat back, and this is his primary concern. He doesn't even care about talking to Phoebe himself. He just wants to be sure the cat will be returned.

What do the Friends think of this?

Rachel: I HATE it when Ross is right!

Monica: He is right, isn't he?

Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times he's wrong.

All: You think?

Chandler: Oh, no. He's right.

The script specifically acknowledges that Ross is the only one willing to do the right thing.

After Ross discovers that NONE of his friends had the backbone to tell Phoebe that she had a *child's pet*, he's a taken aback at first. They lied to him.

Ross: You didn't tell her? OK, fine. Pheebs!

Phoebe: Hi!

Ross: Hi! Listen, this cat belongs to a little girl. There are flyers all over the place.

He shows her the flyer. Rachel and Monica tell Phoebe they are sorry and offer to be the one who return the cat.

Is he ridiculing her here? No. His first reaction is just to explain to her that the cat does not belong to her. It is ONLY after Phoebe refuses to do the right thing here that Ross gets angry.

Phoebe: Ohh. Umm...but you know, she chose to find me. I have to respect her decision.

Everybody else backs up her decision to deprive this child of her cat.

All: That's a good call. Right.

*That* is when Ross, disgusted with the lack of integrity in his friends and their unkindness to the child (over an idea that he *does* think is nuts) blows his lid:

Ross: No! No! Look! Hey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom! This is a cat! Julio, the cat! Not Mom! Cat!

Note that he specifically calls out the name that the child gave the cat. He is reinforcing that this is Julio - the child's pet. Not Phoebe's emotional crutch. Phoebe is a grown woman and her mother had been dead for over a decade. Ross pinpointed EXACTLY the real reason why Phoebe was doing this. She is not really sure the cat is her mother. She even admits this in the next paragraph.

Phoebe: Even if I'm wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Be supportive.

She is admitting that this may be a fantasy. This episode is not really about Phoebe's religious beliefs. It's about her emotional crutches, and the "moral" is that friends should allow their friends to indulge themselves in emotional crutches, no matter what harm they are doing to others.

I was absolutely disgusted by what came next. We found out later that half the writing staff was uncomfortable with it, too.

They did. They did that first. Ross only resorted to chastising her when his first option failed.

Then why did he:

• Wait until they found out about Julio to say anything
• Delegate telling Phoebe to other people at first.
• Try telling Phoebe about Julio and try to convince her to return the cat

before he actually yelled at her? It *really* looks to me like Ross was indignant about the child, and if you think his only motivation was to embarrass Phoebe you are going to have to pinpoint the reason for your point of view just as precisely as I just did.

And *I'm* still indignant, over two years after the original release date, because it really bothers me when personal integrity is displayed as a character flaw.

In article , Claire Abraham wrote:

<LOTS OF GOOD STUFF I AGREED WITH SNIPPED>

Yes, when I *first* saw this I enjoyed the story until the end came - it just didn't fit with what had gone before. Then of course any subsequent viewings are spoilt by knowing what is to come. For once one of Phoebe's fancies had a solid-ish foundation (guilt over replacing the dead mother with a live one), plus the others having to agree that sensible Ross was right, then even their cowardice was good for the story. But that fourth part - who wrote that? Was that section by Marta Kauffman herself, so she was able to ride roughshod over her underlings?

You often have good ideas for alternate versions, Claire, how would you have written the ending?

Tennant

Yeah, but what bothered me was the cat licking the top of the entertainment centre while Ross 'apologised'. I mean, what was up there?!?

Claire Abraham wrote in message news:[email]...

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In article , "Mark Hunter" wrote:

Something like liver pat� to keep the cat on its mark?

Tennant

Tennant Stuart wrote in message news:[email]...

What about tuna fish oil? That usually keeps me on my mark.

In article , Cappie wrote:

Monica putting a roof over Rachel's head despite not being invited to the wedding (101 TOW Monica Gets a New Roommate).

Joey kissing a desperate Chandler as 1995 begins after all the women refused despite him being a guy (110 TOW the Monkey).

Phoebe carefully telling Rachel the truth about Paolo despite being attracted to him herself (112 TOW the Dozen Lasagnes).

Ross giving up an appearance on television to help Rachel with her make-up despite their recent break (321 TOW a Chick. And a Duck).

Chandler urinating on Monica's leg to stop the pain of a jellyfish sting despite blowing his chances (401 TOW the Jellyfish).

Rachel trying to get Ross a date with the pizza girl despite being in love with him herself (519 TOW Ross Can't Flirt).

Tennant Stuart

Yeah, THAT's a nice one for a chuch speech :-)

In article , "Marc Beckersjuergen" wrote:

Why not? Chandler debased himself in front of his friends in order to help a fellow human at great personal cost. A few hidebound moralists might disapprove of mentioning a natural function, but his unselfish good deed would not harm his chances of entering Heaven.

And if you believe in God, then who do you think created urine?

Tennant

I was so tempted ot include the whole end of that bit into the talk. Where they are all telling everyone else what happened. I am already going ot get in trouble so I better not make it any worse. Cheers, Anthony

In article , Cappie wrote:

Don't be timid. You can't possibly offend them more than Jesus would.

Tennant