As Dan Ginsburg has reported, the ratings for episode 916, TOW Boob Job, were down significantly. I tend to think part of the reason had to be how lame the opening few minutes, the 'teaser', was. The problem was the scene was too static, too lifeless, and some marginal viewers likely decided to check out the competition. Basic screenwriting technique teaches that characters are not supposed to tell the story, they are supposed to act it out. That problem is called expositional or "on the nose" dialogue. If the writers wanted to introduce the idea of Monica and Chandler needing money, they should NOT have them sitting at a table saying to each other "We need money." There have to be more imaginative ways to introduce their borrowing-from-Joey imperative. Along these lines, I have taken the liberty of writing a replacement teaser for the episode introducing Monica and Chandler's financial difficulties. The original teaser had 261 words of dialogue and mine has about 240 so I think it would fit in the time allowed, allowing that this one has more movement within the scene.
FADE IN:
MONICA & CHANDLER'S PLACE Chandler is by himself, watching TV. He is wearing the typical slacker uniform, baggy shorts that go down to his knees, a baggy t-shirt with some idiotic phrase printed on the front, a baseball cap turned backwards and he is barefoot. Monica enters. She is wearing a black leather jacket, black slacks and sweater, and black leather boots. She looks intimidating and is evidently upset. She holds her purse over her shoulder like a cowboy holds a gun in a holster and marches directly towards Chandler.
CHANDLER
Hey hon, how's it going?She doesn't respond until she is very close to him.
MONICA
(angry)
How's it going? How's it going? Something
like this.She punches him in the stomach. He falls like a sack of potatoes.
MONICA (CONT'D)
Guess where I just came from? CHANDLER
Boxing class? MONICA
No, the supermarket. When I tried to pay for
our groceries, they rejected my credit card,
said we're over the limit. I didn't have
enough cash on me so I had to walk out with
nothing. I've never been so humiliated in my
life, Chandler. Have you been using my card? CHANDLER
Well, I bought a few things.Monica notices something connected to the TV.
MONICA
What is this? CHANDLER
A new DVD player. This one can handle five
discs at a time. The old one only took one.
It was such a hassle. MONICA
(sarcastic)
Oh, I know. It's terrible to get off your
butt and change the disc once every TWO
HOURS! CHANDLER
No, I needed it for the this. Check it out:
Baywatch, The Complete Third Season. We're
talking Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth.
(pleading now)
Pamela and Yasmine, Pamela and Yasmine. I
had to have it, I had to, I had to, I had to! MONICA
Say goodbye to to your girlfriends, because
this is going back to the store. CHANDLER
No, please don't!Chandler falls to his knees and begs, grabbing her ankle momentarily as she walks away. He falls to the floor, dejected.