James Lipton: ...Now we come to the famous questionnaire, used by Bernard Pivot in "Bouillon du Culture."
Monica Geller: I heard about this part. Okay, I'm ready.
JL: What is your favorite word?
MG: "Favorite."
JL: "Favorite" is your favorite word?
MG: It is. See, whenever you use "favorite" in a sentence, you're always talking about whatever your favorite thing is. And that always makes you happy.
JL: That makes sense.
MG: Doesn't it?
JL: And what is your least favorite word?
MG: "Microwaveable." Microwave *ovens* are okay, but anything that has "microwaveable" on the label is s--t. 'Scuse me.
JL: ...What sound or noise do you love?
MG: Doorbells. And the sound of a bathtub filling up.
JL: What sound or noise do you hate?
MG: A garbage disposal. Especially when something's stuck in it. ...And banjos.
JL: What turns you on?
MG: Seven. ...Sorry, that's an inside joke for my friends... Cooking, throwing a party. Just taking care of people. I always cook Thanksgiving dinner for all of my friends. I'll spend a whole year planning that.
JL: What turns you off?
MG: Things out of alphabetical order. And that *crud,* that dried soap on the tip of a soap dispenser --
JL: -- Thank you! I hate that too!
MG: I KNOW! I mean, is it *so* hard to wipe off the nozzle? Huh, people?!
JL: What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
MG: Queen. (Laughs.) But seriously, I'd like to try politics. I wish there was a President of the World, or something.
JL: You know, that's almost exactly what your friend Phoebe said.
MG: Did she. Well, good luck running against *me,* Phebes. Actually, I'd like to run a day-care center. That would be nice. ...Except they'd be the fattest kids in the world, 'cause I'd be cooking for them all the time.
JL: What profession would you not want to attempt?
MG: Waitressing. ...Weird, huh? I love cooking, I love hostessing -- but being a waitress would kill me. Or I'd kill somebody.
JL: What is your favorite curse word?
MG: "Bitch." I probably say it about a hundred times a day, or at least think it. What's fun, though, is when you call a guy a bitch. It totally throws them off.
JL: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you arrive?
MG: I promised myself I'd have an answer to that by the time you asked, but I can't think of... Just -- "Welcome home." (Shrugs.) "...I love you."
(She smiles.)