I thought 914, TOW The Blind Dates, was pretty good except for the final tag scene. It went like this:
JOEY and ROSS back at the restaurant where Ross had been stood up on his date. They are trying to get more free crab cakes by pretending to be stood up on blind dates in front of the WAITER.
JOEY
Can you believe they're still not here? ROSS
I know, a double blind date and we both
get stood up -- what are the chances? JOEY
I know, I'm so bummed.
(to waiter)
Can we have our free crab cakes now? WAITER
What? JOEY
We've been stood up, and we want our
free crab cakes. WAITER
Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting
on you tonight although we do have a pool
going to see how long it takes that guy
to cry. STEVE
(cries)
I have such fat hands.This scene did not work for several reasons. 1) Ross has never been obsessed with food the way Joey has so it seemed out of character for him to be participating in this childish stunt. Apparently he was only in the scene to explain how Joey might have ended up there. 2) Ross was supposedly angry at Joey in the previous scene and we never saw how they reconciled. 3) It was a little implausible that Steve would also be there. 4) How would the waiters know that Steve cries and therefore be betting on it? 5) Steve's line was not funny.
THE CHALLENGE Since the scene only involved 81 words of dialogue, I thought it would be interesting to write a new tag scene for this episode. Keep in mind the scene has to relate in some way to a previous scene, to a line from one of the characters, or some tidbit of information or character trait that was revealed in THIS episode. Also, the whole thing has to play out in about 40 seconds so it shouldn't involve more than about 100 words of dialogue. There are plenty of clues to guide you. I have made of list of things one could use for possible scenes:
Ross wears his innapropriate FBI t-shirt to pick up girls Ross and Rachel's attempt to get revenge on Joey and Phoebe Rachel persuades Steve to help her get revenge on Phoebe Ross and Rachel doing the 'plan laugh' on Joey and Phoebe Ross and the 'drunk Chinese guy' discussing their mutual problems Rachel's aversion to crab cake
Phoebe tries to catch Monica and Chandler having sex Phoebe has to defend her 'dear, dear' friend Steve Phoebe and Joey leaving for, arriving in, or relaxing in Mexico Phoebe telling Joey of the 'different plan' that she had go to Mexico Joey can't remember the names of girls he sleeps with Joey can't spell anything Joey babysitting Emma Joey's confusion over what his family name is Joey gets caught in the nude again Joey and Phoebe sampling more of the baby food Joey deals with Emma crying all night Joey catches Rachel using a breast pump Joey meets the boring teacher at the library again Joey telling Rachel Monica and Chandler were having sex while babysitting Joey does the 'plan laugh' at an innapropriate time
Monica and Chandler's attempt to prove they are 'hip and happening' Chandler's hair reveals what he and Monica have been doing Chandler trying out more of Monica's feminine stuff Chandler entertaining Emma Chandler uses word canoodling Chandler immitating Emma, acting like a baby Chandler watching Oprah Chandler reading the obituaries, finds his own name Monica and Chandler back at the Bed & Breakfast Monica catches Chandler 'touching himself' again Monica can't remember the date Monica wants to have sex with Chandler in the living room or odd places Monica complains to Chandler he is slow, not just during sex Monica making noise in intimate situations Monica freaked out by animals looking at her Monica being 'dramatic' playing peekaboo with Emma
Steve thinks women like it when he cries Steve behaves as if he is stoned Steve likes his hair Steve flashes women but 'it' doesn't work anymore Steve reciting a list of more of his problems Steve making another innapropriate t-shirt for someone Steve asks more women "Would you like to make love to me?" Someone walks in to meet their blind date, sees them and leaves Gay waiter offers sex to patrons
THE RESPONSE To get the ball rolling, here is my humble effort...
JOEY and PHOEBE sitting at a dusty outdoor cafe in Mexico. Joey is wearing a ridiculously large sombrero as he pours tequila from a bottle into Phoebe's and his own glass. They are both evidently feeling the effects of the alcohol.
JOEY
Tell me about your original plan. PHOEBE
Arturo was his name, an executive at
the Bank of Mexico, Manhattan branch.
Handsome but dull. JOEY
He was a massage client? PHOEBE
Yes, and very much in love with me. He
begged me to marry him, but I insisted
he prove his love. JOEY
How? PHOEBE
He must steal a hundred million dollars
from his bank and run off to Mexico with
me. JOEY
So did he? PHOEBE
He got caught. I, however, escaped. JOEY
Wow, that's amazing Phoebes. PHOEBE
I told you to call me Esmeralda here. JOEY
Okay.I look forward to reading other people's tag scenes.