How to become a great fanfic writer

In a galaxy far, far away.... Priya and I got very bored, to an extent where we did not only read quite a lot of fanfics, but I even focussed on the really horrible ones and forced her to read them as well :)

As time went by, we realized there are certain rules, that, when remembered, will allow you to identify truly awful fics before the first paragraph is over. OTOH, if you want to write a fanfic, think of these rules as a little help on what *not* to do. We realize we haven't really written any fics ourselves, so we're probably not the ones to criticize, but someone's gotta do it, might as well be us. Of course this is totally our own opinion and you might disagree, but we still think we're right, even though there might be the odd exception to these rules.

Anyway, on with the show:

1) The very least you can do is get the names right. There are no Ross & Monica Gellar, Rachel Greene, Pheobe Buffay or Joey Tribianni (admittedly, the last one is tricky). The names are Ross & Monica Geller, Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing.

2) If you're going to bother writing a fic at all, make it *readable*, the use of paragraphs and punctuation never hurts. Also, run your documents through some sort of spell checker before publishing them. Lots of grammar and spelling mistakes only make things harder to read

3) Plot ideas and elements that are just plain wrong: a) Stories about the children of any possible couple of the six main characters, or stories beginning with "X & Y are happily married now, they have a daughter A, 8 years old, the twin boys B & C are now 4, baby girl D who is 2 years old and there's another one on the way" b) Any or all of the Friends dieing c) Any of the women being raped c) Set in high school d) Friends crossover stories with Buffy/X-Files e) Brad Pitt appearing, either as himself or as a character. While it worked on the show, fanfic writers just don't get it right. Kind of along those lines, don't write fics where the actual actors fall in love (ie. Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer or Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry) f) Coupling them all up, as in Ross and Rachel, Chandler and Monica, Joey and Phoebe g) Alternative versions of the S4 finale (with the focus on Ross, Rachel, Emily) h) Ross intending to propose on the infamous anniversary dinner night

4) Never use the term "lobsters", except for when intended derogatory or to ridicule R+R worshippers

5) Don't write song fics! They're pointless, if you like a song, then great, but don't publish the lyrics with some minor changes as a fanfic

Discuss!

Priya & Andr�

DANG IT!!!!! And I was all set to write a FANfic about Monika & Feebe and the gang 10 years from now when they are all married. In my story, Monika & Chandler have adopted Ross & Rachels kid because R & R died in a tragic axcident when they were on their way to the hospital to see feebe because she had been attacked in central park by a vampire Had it not been for Buffy she might not have survived. During the attack we see flashbacks of feebes life all the way back to when she was in middle school and how she had met joey at a fare and they shared a kiss & he had carved their names in a tree to mark their special time but they had never seen eachother again. Realizing now it was Joey she vows to tell him that she is the girl from his childhood that he said he loved. Joey had come to the hospital to see Feebs & she was about to tell him but then her Doctor (played bt Brad Pit) walks in & as soon as Joey sees him & their eyes meet there is an instant connection. It is at this moment they realize they are eachothers lobster.

I had a whole song to go with this too & it even included a line about when Ross proposed to Rachel on their anniversary

but now I guess I should just scrap the whole thing!!!!

:-)

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 07:53:48 -0400, "ImKukie" wrote:

LOL, yeah, you better. Or we'll come to get you. :)

Priya

On Sun, 6 Jul 2003 19:53:59 +0200, "cookie dude" wrote:

One of these days, you have to learn how to spell dying. :)

Priya

p r i y a likes to play a special version of 'Hey Jude', with 25 minutes of 'na nananana' and an extra verse that goes like this:

:P I've come across a true nutcase, who says she isn't bothered whether Rachel's last name is spelled (or spelt? or both?) Greene or Green, she'll just continue to spell it Greene anyway. Her reasoning is that the characters are fictional and therefore it doesn't matter. If anybody understands this logic please contact me ASAP

Andr�

Either Green or Greene is correct when it is someone's last name. However "dieing" is most definitely spelled wrong. It's "dying" and your use of "spelt" is questionable. Sounds too much like slang, even though it does appear in one form in the American Heritage dictionary. ~~~ Kathy

"cookie dude" wrote in message news:3f096b41$0$7291$[email]...

Isn't it obvious...... She is a girl! & as a girl I can tell ya that is all the reasoning one needs to make it logical

Muwaahaahaahaa The power of estrogen its great to be an X

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 09:38:33 -0400, "ImKukie" wrotE:

I'm so glad you agree that a woman's logic is always correct!! ;)

Jess likes to play a special version of 'Hey Jude', with 25 minutes of 'na nananana' and an extra verse that goes like this:

kind of like that joke there is in Germany (about marriage from the male point of view): Rule #1: I'm always right Rule #2: If for some reason I should not be right, rule #1 applies :P

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 16:32:34 +0200, "cookie dude" wrotE:

Actually, there was a study done about what makes a marraige work. And I forget what the percentage was, but the majority of the best marriages were the ones where the husband pretty much let the wife do what she wanted and he just kind of followed along with her. So you see, if you want to be happy men, you have to just trust us. ;)

Jess likes to play a special version of 'Hey Jude', with 25 minutes of 'na nananana' and an extra verse that goes like this:

Who said marriage makes men happy?

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 17:22:15 +0200, "cookie dude" wrotE:

haha. Who would cook, clean, an do your laundry for you otherwise? Although I must admit most men are becoming more independent with all this... but you still need us for the sex. ;)

Jess likes to play a special version of 'Hey Jude', with 25 minutes of 'na nananana' and an extra verse that goes like this:

my mom!

boys are sexually independent at an much earlier age than girls... ermm... you know...

On Mon, 7 Jul 2003 19:58:46 +0200, "cookie dude" wrotE:

lol, I meant independent with cleaning and laundry... Paul should be the expert on the sex topic. ;)

Jess likes to play a special version of 'Hey Jude', with 25 minutes of 'na nananana' and an extra verse that goes like this:

but still...

With great insite & understanding

To do otherwise would be simply rediculous because as our motto states girls rule & boys drool

In article , "cookie dude" wrote:

Absolutely.

Yes, use of the spell checker is essential.

<SNIP>

Hey, the very best fanfic ever written has some of the Friends dying!

BTW, note spelling of "dying". :)

<SNIP>

On the whole, well said, Priya & Andr�.

Tennant

On Mon, 07 Jul 2003 18:07:36 BST, Tennant Stuart wrote:

Ahem! Guess which fic I had in mind when I wrote that rule. :P

Yeah, he has a problem with lying too. :)

Ta.

Priya

In article , p r i y a wrote:

And laying?

YW, sweetie.

Tennant