Need help with great quotes

I need some great quotes (from Friends) for a little thing I'm doing. I'm sure all of you out there remember a lot of quotes, and I'd like you to post 'em. I just can't seme to remember a single one...

Thanx!

Joey: "Hi, I'm Chandler ... could I be wearing any more clothes?"

(Sorry -- what kind of quotes were you looking for?_

"Chistopher Sand�y" wrote in message news:bWxP7.8001$[email]...

post

Ross: I just want to be married. (Rachel walks in wearing a wedding dress) Chandler: And I just want a million dollars!

*********

Joey: (afer being robbed) You know what I'm going to do if I ever see that guy again? Chandler: BEND OVER?!?!?

*********

Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Ross: (to Chandler) Yes that's how they do them ... (to Joey) IN PRISON!!!

**********

Joey: (as "The guy who comes to fix the copier but can't because people are having sex on it") You know, that's bad for the toner.

***********

Rachel: OH! Honey, that's okay. Ross: Oh, no -- you rolled over my juicebox. Rachel: Thank *God*

************

Pheobe: She's his lobster!

************

Pheobe: Wow -- if we were in prison, you'd be my bitches.

************

Joey: I'm going to go eat my chicken, and I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs.

************

Monica: Like when you look at other women's breasts. Chandler: You can see me? Monica: Can you see this (stares off into space with mouth open)?

*************

Ross: In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil in as a child? (Chandler whispers to Ross) Ross: Eeewww, no!!!!! In her EAR!!!

**************

Monica: (as Rachel) I use my breasts to get attention. Rachel: (as Monica) Hey! We both do that.

***************

(after Chandler was caught wearing Julia Robert's panties) Pheobe: I think I'm going to write a song about all of this, but my guitar's broken ... Hey, Chandler, can I borrow your g-string?

****************

Chandler: (flips a coin) Call it. Joey: Heads. Cahndler: Heads it is. Joey: Whew. Chandler: WE HAVE TO ASSIGN HEADS TO SOMETHING!!!! Joey: Oh! I got it -- ducks is heads because ducks have heads. Chandler: What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday party?

***************

They may not all be exact, but I hope you'll forgive me. I did this quickly from memory.

I'll post more as I think of them.

Sadge wrote in message news:VEyP7.97490$[email]...

are

the

Switch the names around on this one and you have the quote right! :)

guitar's

quickly

On Thu, 06 Dec 2001 00:07:17 GMT, "Sadge" wrote:

(Rachel) You fell asleep!!!!!

aj wrote:

On Thu, 06 Dec 2001 19:17:26 +0000, Crazeeblond wrote:

Ross "Don't worry about falling asleep.. I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER!"

and who could forget Ross "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

an absolutely classic moment :)

Louise

aj wrote:

post

What about..... Chandler - Dear God, this parachute's a knapsack!

Gill

Monica and Rachel's fight when Rachel was moving out of their apartment.

Monica- (As Rachel) "I love Ross, I hate Ross, I love Ross, I hate Ross" Rachel- (As Monica) "I can't find a boyfriend so I guess I will go across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!" Monica- (As Rachel) "Is my sweater too tight? No, well I'd better wash it and shrink it!"

Joey to Ross- "How you got three women to marry you I'll never know"

Chandler to Joey- "How do you not fall down more?" "Stop the cutip when there is resistance"

Joey to Rachel- "Remember when you were a kid and your mother dropped you off at the movies with a jar of jam a a little spoon?" Rachel to Joey- "You're so pretty"

Monica to Chandler- "That's what you get for licking my muffin"

Monica- "Fine judge all you want but married a lesbian (Ross), left a guy at the alter (Rachel), fell in love with a gay icedancer (Phoebe), threw a girls wooden leg in a fire (Joey), and live in a box (Chandler)!"

"Trigger" wrote in message news:1RBP7.1619$[email]...

at

That one always makes me laugh. It makes me think of a quote from Mad About You when Silvia (Paul's mom) says:

(to Sharon) "You're becoming a bitter divore'. Maybe Jaime knows someone for you. (to Jaime) You must meet pleany of nice young men doing nothing but working all the time. (to Paul) Of course you brother meets nobody but 'film people'."

(all three sit down) Jaime: Three bullseyes.

Paul: She doesn't even reload.

In article , "Sadge" writes:

"Chistopher Sand�y" wrote in message news:bWxP7.8001$[email]...

post

You say you can't remember a single quote, but then you list one perfectly in closing.

I know, I know. It's a figure of speech.

Joey: Whom. (Incredulous looks from the other friends.) That's right.

Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it; if I kept it, it would be like stealing" Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping" Phoebe: "Okay, okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes with the money. Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took? "NOT mine, NOT mine, NOT mine." And even if I were happy, okay, and, and skipping, I'd hear "notNOT mine, notNOT mine, notNOT mine, notNOT mine..."

Chandler: "Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?"

Steve (Jon Lovitz): "Tartlets. -- Tartlets. -- Tartlets. -- The word has lost all meaning"

Monica: "I feel terrible, I really do" Rachel: "Oh I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?"

Chandler: "Want some chocolate milk?" Ross: "No thanks, I am 29"

Chandler:"There's a Phoebe on my sandwich!"

Joey:"Why can't we use the same toothbrush, but we can use the same soap?" Chandler:"Because soap is soap - it's self-cleaning." Joey:"Alright, well, next time you take a shower, think about the LAST thing I wash, and the FIRST thing you wash."

Chandler :"But you have to promise me you will let us know the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair"

Joey: "You fake laughing too, right?" Chandler: "Oh, the tears are real"

Monica - I don't need a tissue! I'm find! Ross - When you put a D at the end of fine, you're not fine.

Jill - So who made her Queen of the World? Phoebe - I would LOVE that job!

Jill - You know, I'm doing all these different sorts of things, and maybe I should try dating a geek, too! Rachel - Yeah, but, you know, you don't... you don't want to try too much too fast. You know? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried too much too fast, don't you? Jill - What? Rachel - She... she died, Jill.

Chandler - It's like that old saying, have sex, eat some cake.

Phoebe - Come on, Ross, you're a paleontologist. Dig a little deeper.

Joey: So you�re playing a little Playstation, huh? That�s whack! Playstation is whack! �Sup with the whack Playstation, �sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?! Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.

Louise

David Buehrle wrote:

Chandler- (to Ross) "Don't forget to wake us up before you go-go" "You do know that Wham broke up right?"

Chandler- "Can open, worms everywhere"

Chandler: "(Motions to the left) Rock. (Motions to the right) Hard place. (Pushes head forward) Me."

***********************************
Chandler: I'm trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre!

*********************************** Jack Geller: There she is. Joey: Some girl ate monica! Monica: Shut up! The camera adds ten pounds. Chandler: Ahh, so how many cameras are actually on you?

***********************************
Gunther: Hey buddy. This is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.

***********************************
Ben: Monica Bang.
Monica: That's right. That's how I would sound like if I exploded!

***********************************
Joey: You're 18. She's 44. When you'll be 36, she'll be 88!
Frank Jr.: What you think I don't know that?

*********************************** Rachel: Well, you know. When I first met you, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be. Chandler: You did? Rachel: Yea, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so I thought maybe not.

***********************************
Phoebe: Oh, sweet lord! This must be what evil must taste like!

*********************************** Phoebe: So unfortunate. Ross: What? Phoebe: Cute naked guy's really starting to put on weight.

*********************************** Phoebe: I got a call at like 2 in the morning, and all I could hear was like this high squeaky sound, so I figure oh, OK, so it's like a mouse or a possum. But then I realized, OK, where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call.

***********************************
Joey: It's a rented tux, ok? I'm not gonn'a go commando in another man's
fatuiges.

*********************************** Phoebe: How come you're watching a rabbi play an electric guitar? Joey: Can't find the remote.

*********************************** Chandler: Your little men are gonna get scored on more times then your sister. Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Which sister?

*********************************** Chandler: Wow! She's amazing! She makes the women I dream about look like short, fat, bald men.

*********************************** Chandler: Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might want to have a back-up plan though, just in case she isn't a cartoon!

*********************************** Rachel: Oh, I almost caught that one. Chandler: Great, now the score is 7 to almost 7.

***********************************
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore!

***********************************
Monica: Losers walk.
Ross: Yea? Losers talk.
Chandler: No no no. Actually, losers rhyme.

*********************************** Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there is some sort of miss-understanding.

*********************************** Joey: That's how they do pants! First the go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants? Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison!

*********************************** Joey: Get he flowers, get her candy, get her gum. Girls like gum Chandler: That's a good idea. Dear Janice, Have a Hubba Bubba Birthday.

*********************************** Phoebe: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse. It should have been called "It's a Sucky Life and Just When You Think it Can't Suck Any More - It Does"!

*********************************** Chandler: I can handle it. Handle is my middle name. Actually it the middle part of my first name.

*********************************** Ross: Look, I don't care. It starts at eight. We can't be late. Phoebe: We could not, would not want to wait!

***********************************

Donna My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

"JLplsSS" wrote in message news:[email]...

Does anyone else get a kick out the episode with the "Monica Bang" thing now that her name is Monica Bing.

o/~ "ting tang, walla walla bing bang."

In article , [email] (JLplsSS) writes:

The blind leading the blind.

My personal favorite...

Chandler to Ross: Oh no, two women love me. My wallet's too small for my 50's, and my diamond shoes are too tight."

On Wed, 5 Dec 2001 23:21:06 +0100, "Chistopher Sand�y" wrote:

aj wrote in message news:[email]...

post

Phoebe- "Yeah, I can go back to street Phoebe, but I can't go back completely because street Phoebe would never be friends with all of you"

Ross- "Come on let me win.......... I keep getting divorced and knocking people up and I am dressed like doody" Chandler- "You're Spudnik" Ross- "Let's face it I'm doody"

Ross- "I grew up with Monica. If you didn't eat fast you didn't eat!!"

Judy Gellar- "Monica, I don't have any room in the fridge, will you finish off these pies?" Monica- "No thank you" Jack Geller- "Well Judy you did it, she's finally full!"

Rachel- "Now I'm mommy in this sick little Geller game........ That's it I'm going to take a long bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy!"

Joey- "What is this, cider?" Chandler- "I don't know. Try it" Joey- "It's fat. I drank FAT!!" Chandler- "Yeah, I did that about twenty minutes ago"

Ross- "It tastes like feet!" Joey- "I like it" Ross- "You're kidding?" Joey- "What's not to like, jam good, custard good, meat goooooood!!"

Rachel- "Guess what, Barry and Mindy are getting divorced!" Joey- "What the hell is the matter with you?" (pointing to Ross) Rachel- "No, Barry and Mindy" Joey- "Sorry, I hear divorce and I immediately go to Ross"

Chandler- "If you're not careful you might not get married at all this year!"

Rachel- "Ross, this is not a marriage. This is the world's worst hangover!!"

Chandler- "Hornswoggle, what are you dating a character from Fragile Rock?"

"aj" wrote in message news:[email]...

S P O I L E R

S P A C E

.

.

.

Are Monica's boots made of diamonds? Or did they only cost that much?

David Buehrle wrote in message news:h7WP7.11122$[email]...

No, that was from another episode and there were no diamond shoes, it is just a saying!!

"Trigger" wrote in message news:sjWP7.5920$[email]...

news:[email]...

Oh yes, I understood, but if a pair of boots cost more than a month's rent in New York? They aught to be diamond boots.

See my drift?

David Buehrle wrote in message ...

Well we know that's what she wanted; remember back in 701 TOW Monica's Thunder?

Monica: (looking at her hand) Y�know what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes!

"CandiGrrl" wrote in message news:9uqu10$5nv$[email]...

ROFL THAT'S RIGHT!! I remember that. Good show!

joey: "mmmm, noodle soup."

Phoebe: "Hi I'm Phoebe Buffay and I have babies coming out of me."

Phoebe: Oh, so that's your thing! Your the guy who gets divorced! Ross: What? That's not my thing! Phoebe: Yes it is! Your the guy who loves getting divorced! You love it so much you'll probably marry it, then wind up getting divorced! (laughs hysterically while the rest stare at her) I'm SO drunk!

Chandler(to old Middle Eastern woman): When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?

Rachel: Joey is taking naked pictures of us! That's what he does- he takes naked pictures of us, then he eats chicken, and he looks at them!

Joey(climbing into the entertainment center): I did it! I'm all the way in! Chandler: Oh, it looks like I'm out FIVE big ones! (slides hockey stick into handles) Joey: Cha-CHING! Well HELLO, Mr. Lincoln! And the drinks are on me!!

Jeff Cox wrote in message news:[email]...

Rachel- "There he is the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village"

Phoebe- "Hey pervert" Ross- "Phoebe, I'm not a pervert!" Phoebe- "That's like the pervert moto. Yeah, they make you raise your right hand and put your left hand down your pants and repeat that!!"

In article , "Trigger" writes:

JamesS1889 wrote in message news:[email]...

"Trigger"

right

Which

It was from this season 804 (I think is the number) TOW The Videotape. Great episode!!

Phoebe: " ohhh, you nailed the old lady!"

refering to joey and his learning to play guitar

"Chistopher Sand�y" wrote: