[Alyssa finishes her speech and returns to the audience, bathed in applause. After the audience have quietened down a little, Raven steps back up to the microphone.]
Raven: Of course, not everyone can be such a stunning debutante. You know, I recall my first few tentative posts to the group. How nervous I was, how shy, how very wary. How hard I struggled to start an on-topic thread, only to see my efforts -
Tina: Just follow the autocue, Raven.
Raven: Oh. Sorry.
Tina: As my *dear* partner was trying to say, [glares at Raven] there are often posters who don't set the group afire when they arrive, but, over time, grow and evolve into people we all know and love.
Raven: Right. [nods] This category is for Most Improved Poster; people who've been around a while, but have really come into their own this year. And the nominees for this award are:
Larissa Markiw (Peachlilli) Shnocody
[Applause swells up from all around.]
[Tina plucks an envelope seemingly from nowhere and opens it.]
Tina: And the winner iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis? Larissa!
[The crowd virtually explodes with applause as Larissa steps up to make her speech.]
* * *
[Larissa, speech please!]
* * *
[Larissa returns to the audience slowly. She's still walking back to her seat, which is conveniently placed right at the very back of the hall, when the presenters start speaking again.]
Tina: So far we've seen the best newbies, and the best not-quite-newbies. But there's another class of posters who we want to honour tonight. Not all of them are new, or even nearly new, but we love them anyway. Why's that, then?
Raven: Well, the simple answer is that they're just lovely. We think they're great. They're nice to everyone, everyone likes them, they're just lovely.
Tina: Well, thanks for clearing that one up, Raven.
Raven: Hey, you're welcome. Any time. Need something explaining? I'm your man.
Tina: [whispered off-stage] Can we switch his microphone off, or something? Please? [aloud] This category is, quite simply, Friendliest Poster.
Raven: How appropriate.
[pause for laughter]
[silence]
Raven: Well, don't you see? This is a *Friends* newsgroup, and this is the award for *Friendliest* -
[Tina reaches out and switches off his microphone]
Tina: The nominees are:
Larissa Markiw (Peachlilli) Denise Mjelde Tina Nellis - ooh, hey, that's me! Ahem. Raven - hey, who on Earth nominated you? I guess we should have a category for "Most insane poster", too...
[laughter and applause]
Raven: [flicks his microphone back on, glaring at Tina] [tears open the envelope before Tina can grab it] The winner is... Larissa!
[Larissa pauses, most of the way back to her seat, and then turns around slowly. She sighs, and begins the long, long trek back to the stage.]
* * *
[Larissa, another speech, please!]
* * *
[the applause continues until Larissa has made it all the way back to her seat. This is a *long* time. Finally, though, the audience quietens down, their hands very sore indeed from all that clapping]