This review was first posted on Wednesday, but there has not been a single reply, even though I quickly received my own copy of it.
Hopefully, it doesn't stink; instead Usenet somehow went wrong...
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Hey, the crossed saucepan handles paid off!
British/Anzac/Euro SPOILER SPACE for 908...
S P O I L E R
S P A C E S
S P O I L E R
S P A C E S
908 "TOW Rachel's Other Sister"
It's Thanksgiving, and so Chandler persuades Monica to put out the fancy china for the dinner. She's scared that a plate will be broken, but he declares there's no point in having anything which isn't used.
Meanwhile, Rachel is just getting Emma ready to go when her less than favourite sister Amy arrives unexpectedly. She is more self-centred & shallow than Rachel & Jill put together, she hasn't been in touch for over a year, and she points out that Emmet the baby will soon need a nose job like his mother once did.
However, Amy's boyfriend breaks off their date to be with his wife, so Rachel very kindly takes her over to Monica's for the dinner...
---o0o---
Joey is watching the parade on TV when the DOOL float passes by - and to his horror he remembers that he was supposed to have been on it!
Since he's useless at lying to his producer, Joey gets Phoebe to teach him. She quickly comes up with the perfect lie - just say that he had a family emergency, and do not go into any details...
---o0o---
At Monica's, Amy is more ditzy & ignorant than Phoebe & Joey put together - she thinks that Emma is Phoebe and her name is a funny noise, then tells Joey that he's not as pretty as he is on TV.
She suddenly has the great idea that if Rachel & Ross died, then she would get Emily the baby, who would make a great fashion accessory for her. However, Rachel & Ross want Emma to go to Monica & Chandler, who are both touched by this honour.
Amy argues about this all through dinner, since not recognising thin Monica she thinks that the baby is going to a stranger. In fact she's so annoyed that she cuts hard with her knife, so alarming Monica about her fancy plates she asks everyone to slice their food in the air!
But Amy gets Rachel & Ross to admit that if Monica died as well, then Chandler can't keep the baby since he's too soft to be a father. Ross tries to lie his way out of this difficulty, but Chandler defeats him with ruthless logic.
Yet the real reason Chandler is upset is he feels that it's true - so his wonderful wife makes him see how at Emma's conception, Rachel and Ross were far less responsible than he is. Indeed, she wants to have a child with him, because she knows he will make an amazing dad.
Ross apologises to Chandler, who confesses his feelings were hurt; but the two sisters fall into a blazing row, in which Amy reveals that the baby is not cute! This precipitates a cat-fight, during which Rachel accidentally breaks one of Monica's smaller plates.
Chandler shows that he would be an excellent father by soundly telling off both Green sisters, then making them apologise to Monica and each other. Ross is most impressed, putting Chandler on the list for Emma; while Rachel makes peace with her sibling. Amy still can't have Emmet or Emily, but she can have a 45% discount at Ralph Lauren!
In the end, Chandler clumsily knocks over the box containing all the china, breaking every plate. He tapes the box shut, hoping that Monica will never find out - but although Joey has successfully lied to his producer, he blurts out the truth to a hapless Monica.
---o0o---
I quite liked this episode. It was amusing, and guest star Christina Applegate did a competent job of copying Rachel's mannerisms as Amy. However, she just doesn't possess the firepower of Reese Witherspoon, so despite having a good story she failed to set the screen alight.
Amazingly, the whole show was stolen from her by Matthew Perry, who as a put-upon Chandler, came to life in just the energetic way that I was asking for, in the lamentable 905 "TOW Phoebe's Birthday Dinner".
However, considering that this was Thanksgiving, it fell short of a grand tradition of classics such as the football, Chandler in a box, Joey's head stuck inside a turkey, Monica's kitchen knife, Rachel's beef trifle, and of course Brad Pitt (later nominated for an Emmy).
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So, at last we've met Amy Green, we can even say her name, but was she not a little disappointing? She was quite a lot like Jill - but over the years we've built up rather a different picture of her...
Amy has a very masculine energy, she is an interior decorator with a penchant for wicker, she owns a ski cabin in the Poconos, she doesn't suffer from sea-sickness - and since Jill was the spoilt one, Amy was the sister who once bit Rachel, possibly whilst torturing her. And in later life, Amy was in a relationship with Donnie Mazio, who boasted about how he'd once had sex with Rachel on the Senior Hay Ride.
As for the actress to play her, many names have been put forward by the fans, of which perhaps the most popular were Gillian Anderson, Gina Gershon, and Nicole Kidman. Instead we got Christina Applegate, who played the title r�le in another BKC production "Jesse", which explains a great deal. Of course, she came to fame as the daughter in the long-running sitcom "Married... with Children", in which her boyfriend Vinnie was played by none other than Matt LeBlanc.
Maybe we were misled by that "masculine energy" tag into expecting someone more butch; but at least Applegate is about the right age, being younger than Aniston yet older than Witherspoon.
---o0o---
Why was a Thanksgiving parade playing "Jingle Bells"?
How come Joey is watching the parade? In 408 "TOW Chandler in a Box", Phoebe told Chandler that he didn't have to watch the football, since Ross & Joey weren't there, so he could watch the parade if he wanted.
Why did the "Days of Our Lives" float look like a giant turkey?
Yay, at last we have the name of Rachel's other sister! This has been the biggest most important missing name in a show which does not have a good reputation for appraising us of such details. Now, apart from a few surnames, what we most need is what Monica's middle E stands for.
Was Rachel being fair to her dim sister for not being aware that she had a baby? A year before, her pregnancy wasn't even showing. In fact their father Leonard had only just received the news - and who knows when their mother Sandra was told? So when did Jill & Amy find out?
Rachel moaned that Amy didn't come to the hospital to see her, but neither did Leonard, Sandra, and Jill. That's a shame really, would it not have been great to see all three Green sisters together?
Wasn't it fun the way that Amy didn't know who the Gellers were? To her, Ross was Rachel's fat friend's creepy brother with a bad afro, while his dorky sister followed Rachel around like a puppy dog.
But at least we now know that she is a Lincoln High Survivor, which brings the current total to an amazing 39 alumni, possibly more.
Phoebe would believe that the moon landings were faked, wouldn't she?
Any there any good examples of Joey lying? I can't think of any, it's not in his nature, just as he's the only one we've never seen drunk.
Rachel admits to Amy that Emma might inherit her real nose. Did you not wonder this when she & Ross slagged off Janice's little Aaron?
When Rachel explained that Ross was not a real doctor, he was just a PhD, what was Amy going ewww about? Did she confuse the letters with PID (Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, which is sexually transmitted)?
RnR fans must have been a little happy, since the pair of them held hands on two occasions, but that was hardly the amazingly romantic getting together that was expected for the November Sweeps, was it?
And in any case, there was far more CnM chemistry than RnR chemistry.
How did Amy manage to walk back to the front door, take off her gloves, put them in her pockets, then take off her overcoat, then her scarf, and hang them up on the hooks, in less than 2 seconds?
In fact, Amy was very fast on the loo as well, wasn't she?
What was the huge green necklace thing that Phoebe wore?
When Amy first arrives, the table is already laid out, take a look as Rachel introduces her to the gang. And when Chandler kindly pats Joey on the back, you can clearly see napkins in their holders on the plates. So, when Amy then says "Phoebe" is a funny noise, did you then notice that all the napkins had mysteriously vanished?
Now count those fancy plates, which are mostly white. There are 7 of them. So how come Monica knew in advance that an extra guest was coming to dinner? Was she expecting Mike, but he let Phoebe down at the last minute? And how come Joey got one of the expensive plates, and at what point was it swapped for a cheap brown one?
And why would Monica do this? Not only is it Chandler who is the dropper, it's Ross who typically acts the fool by mocking Monica's valid concerns (in the same way that he mocked Rachel for worrying about the baby being left alone) before almost dropping a plate.
Why did Phoebe keep yelling "Phoebe" at Amy? It was obvious that the girl didn't understand. Why didn't she say to her "My name is not Emma, that is the name of the baby, and my name is Phoebe"?
How come nobody mentions that Emily is the name of Ross's second ex-wife? Or even better, how it's Monica's middle name?
As they all sat down, how come Amy's glass had already moved itself to the centre of the table? And how come there weren't any bottles?
Why do they all act as though the last person in the world to look after Emma is Joey, even though we've seen he'd do a good job?
Monica is surprised that the others see her as being strict, but is that not how we see her too - in leather, with high heels & a whip?
Did you notice that Phoebe was the only dinner guest who dutifully cut up his/her food in the air?
It's been a long time since a sitting-on-the-step scene, hasn't it?
Why does Rachel diss Amy's plan to further her career as an interior decorator? She didn't just make over their father's office, she also worked on his condominium, and that was some years ago.
How come Rachel fights so weakly? What happened to all the martial arts training that she did with Phoebe in Season Six? If we had seen Monica fighting Janine, would that have been as pathetic? In fact, did anyone apart from Chandler think that the cat-fight was anywhere near as arousing as Monica & Rachel in 212/3 "TOA the Superbowl"?
Just before Amy said she did yoga, what did Rachel say she did?
When Chandler tips the box over, did you notice that there were only enough broken bits to make about 3 plates at most? And that the rest of the box had been padded out with something wrapped in black paper?
So, did Pheebs used to be a thief, then?
No spoilers PLEASE from anyone who has seen any future episodes.
Tennant Stuart