Here's to Daria The greatest show that was ever seen Its failure to win an Emmy Was so absurd it was obscene
A flaw in Daria I could not find And anyone who could Is out of their mind
Tracy Grandstaff is Daria's voice For a wife She'd be my first choice
Why has Daria Emerged as the best show of our time? It is something to ponder As I continue this rhyme
Is it her Looks, clothes, or academic ability? Or something else Like her humility?
At this moment I'm not quite sure Within a few months I'll know more
Her return in February I do anxiously await As does every sane person In this great state
Well what do you think Of this poem so far I think I'd have to give it At least one star
Continuing on As you hoped I might This poem won't end Until my mother buys me a kite
Have we talked about Jane Lane yet? I really can't recall Well we're going to now And you better not try to stall
It is now considered A federal crime To deny that Jane Is the best artist of all time
I'm certain the law will be challenged There's no doubt it will be fought But all efforts should prove futile As I'm Chief Justice of the Supreme Court
Back to Daria That's what we're talking about She's smarter than Quinn Of that there can be no doubt
If you think I'm dwelling on Daria Well you're right Just like when my mother Calls me sonny - cause I'm so bright
Hey Trent - Are you still awake? Someone give that man a drink For Pete's sake!
Cheerleader Brittany Is not very smart But as far as dumb blondes go She's perfect for the part
To say that Kevin's cognitive skills Are of the highest order Is like saying there Are no Mexicans coming across the border
Helen and Jake Are Daria's mom and dad To be perfectly frank I don't think they're so bad
Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie Are always chasing Quinn The one who takes her to Chez Pierre Will, in all likelihood, win
Angela Li is The principal of the school She seems to be Nothing but an old fool
To join the Fashion Club Is very hard They won't let you in If you're a fat tub of lard
Back to Daria That's what we're here for It's better to be rich Than to be poor
Daria, I love you It's as simple as that You mean more to me Than my baseball bat
As you await the end You might as well get some water Or maybe put on a record Done by Cole Porter
Does the word tedious Mean anything to you? Even if it does You're not qualified to shine Daria's shoe
But faster than you Could say Upchuck My mother bought me a kite That doesn't suck
So I must complete this poem I must end this work Even if some people Call me a jerk
I'm going outside To fly my kite Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night
John
Jake: You know, I went out for football in military school, but the other kids taunted me - said I ran funny. Well I've shown them - the smug little turds - I'm my own boss now - I've got the house, the paycheck and they're all lying dead in a stinking rice paddy halfway around the world - at least that's the way I like to think of them.