Daria Fanfiction

Well, I finally worked up the nerve to put my first fanfiction on the Internet. You can find at:

http://members.home.net/corvus-marinus/achange.html

No prizes for guessing the subject. Yes, Daria does appear in the story eventually. All comments welcome!

-Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

"Corvus Marinus" wrote in message news:[email]...

SPOILER SPACE FOR SEASON 5 RELATED SUBJECT MATTER 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 Okay you dirty Sandi-worshipper!

<SIGH>You got me...

It was a good story. Given the changes that are going on this season it could happen.

With Daria, leaving for college, and Jane undecided on what she is going to do with her life, or if she is going to leave Lawndale, who will Jane have to talk to then?

I'm pretty sure Sandi is also going to need a friend.

The Fashion Club looks like it will not last the summer.

And what then? Jane playing the older friend/mentor to Sandi after Daria goes to college and the FC goes their separate ways?

Jane and Sandi becoming friends AND 'townies' together might not be so far-fetched as it seems.

I just don't see Jane and Quinn interacting in quite the same way.

I will admit though that there have been some good Jane/Quinn friendship fanfics out there like "Otherwise Known As Quinn The Great" by Austin Covello.

Which I still consider one of the best.

I do know that you may need to post this to Outpost Daria/Sick Sad World/FanFiction.net for more exposure.

Don't let it sit on your vanity page for us, the jaded and prejudiced few, to enjoy.

:)

<We like you!>

Overall a well done story. If this is your first fanfic I see good thing coming from you.

But if Sandi hurts Jane however (I raise my Sandi-bashing weapon threateningly)

Firah

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid "Firah" did write in news:WfCW6.591$[email], on the date of 15 Jun 2001:

SPOILER SPACE FOR SEASON 5 RELATED SUBJECT MATTER 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

Thanks! I appreciate that.

Hmm...that's an interesting idea. I've already been working on follow-ups, and I wasn't going that way, but it gives me food for thought.

I can't see it either, but if Quinn makes more progress towards seriousness I can see Jane putting up with her a lot better. Still, the memories from "Gifted" must linger...

I'll have to read that. Jane/Quinn is an intriguing possibility.

Thanks for the encouragement! I'll send it to Outpost Daria, now that I'm starting to get the hang of HTML.

Aw! *blush*

Thanks again. I'm working on the follow-up.

Not in a million years! In part three she hurts someone on Jane's behalf, but to say more would be telling.

Yours, Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

One thing you might think of for follow-ups: Have Jane and Sandi go running together. If Sandi's now a WNBA fan, I suppose she's dropped her "See Jane Run" opposition to female athletes. At least Sandi can find a better means of weight-control than subsisting on carrot sticks.

I hope you don't intend to let her get back up to her FLM flabbiness. It's true that a lot of teenage girls obsess over weight, but Sandi got a double-chin in that episode. Teens should not have double chins.

It's not clear from your fanfic whether you intend Jane, Daria and Sandi to become a threesome. Apparently not. Probably a good idea that they don't do it that way: Daria and Jane can exchange some pretty sharp verbal barbs without offending each other (or meaning to), but Sandi needs to go cold-turkey on that sort of thing.

M Man

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid [email] (MMan37x) did write in news:[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 [snippage]

The exercise issue is dealt with in the follow-up story, which is about three-quarters finished. Sandi doesn't go running, but she doesn't get fat either.

My plan is to have Daria become more tolerant of Sandi, but I can't really see them becoming close friends. I think your assessment is right on the nose - Jane can put up with Daria's barbs and return them in kind, and usually neither one of them takes it too seriously, but Sandi would have a hard time doing that without turning it into a blood sport.

-Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

On Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:37:11 GMT, [email] (Corvus Marinus) wrote:

Looking forward to it; I thought it was very good, personally. But... one small piece of advice? The story would flow a lot better if you concentrated on having each character's words on separate paragraphs. Take this passage as an example:

==========[START OF QUOTE]==========

�Thank you for coming to see me, Stacy.� �It�s no problem, Sandi. What�s up?� �I wanted to get your feedback on a plan I�m working on.� �Um...okay. What is it?� �I�m considering stepping down from the presidency of the Fashion Club.� �You�re not going to make Quinn quit too, are you?� Sandi shook her head. �This does not involve my being in violation of Fashion Club standards.� She looked straight into Stacy�s eyes. �I want you to be completely honest. You�d rather have Quinn as President than me, wouldn�t you?�

===========[END OF QUOTE]===========

Now, check this out after I edited it to separate each speaker's words:

==========[START OF QUOTE]==========

�Thank you for coming to see me, Stacy.�

�It�s no problem, Sandi. What�s up?�

�I wanted to get your feedback on a plan I�m working on.�

�Um...okay.  What is it?�

�I�m considering stepping down from the presidency of the Fashion Club.�

�You�re not going to make Quinn quit too, are you?�

Sandi shook her head. �This does not involve my being in violation of Fashion Club standards.� She looked straight into Stacy�s eyes. �I want you to be completely honest. You�d rather have Quinn as President than me, wouldn�t you?�

===========[END OF QUOTE]===========

I don't know about you, but I think the second example is a lot easier to read. Just something you might want to consider; it's up to you in the end, of course. :-)

Martin
(send all e-mail to "[email]")
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Shut the fuck up Mr. Legend-in-my-own-mind-crappy-thirdrate-boring-typical-fan-fic-e733t-g0d. I personally pee on your lifeless fics you egomaniac. "Depth Take a Holiday" and "Nigger Jodie's gay ass scholarship saga '02" are light years better then your poop.

I haven't seen anal like that since my third fudgepackin' trist with Emilio Esteves and Anne Robinson.

Bernie

Bernie wrote:

You are the weakest link. Goodybe.

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid Martin J. Pollard did write in news:vTPW6.1503$[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

Thank you! (I mailed it on the 16th; let me know if you haven't received it.)

[Example snipped]

Thank you for the advice. I collapsed some of the dialogue into paragraphs mainly because the original word processor document kept getting longer and longer, but I noticed that the HTML version didn't seem quite so long (wider margins, I think). I'll try the one-line method in the next story and see if it works better.

Yours, Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

I see Firah put spoiler space in her reply, so...

SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . .

I wonder why you had Sandi quite the FC, despite the fact that she obviously cared about its future. If she started being nice to Stacy, TIffany and Quinn, I think they'd respond in kind. This is more or less what was happening at the end of FLM. Sandi just hasn't followed up well in later episodes.

M Man

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid [email] (MMan37x) did write in news:[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . .

I thought about that, but the way I read Sandi's character on the show is that she's too caught up in the FC power struggle to be able to change her behavior within the Club; in FLM, she was only able to break down and express her feelings to Quinn after she had decided to quit, and once she rejoined the Club her old behavior patterns began to resurface - by "Lucky Strike" she was as mean as ever. I don't think she can be nice to the others and be President simultaneously, so that was how I wrote it. It would be interesting to see her consciously work on reforming her behavior while staying in the Club, but somebody else will have to write that. ^_^

-Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

I figured it was something like that. Is she just going to blow off her old friends or keep up some sort of contact? She's going to be in classes with them, after all.

M Man

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid [email] (MMan37x) did write in news:[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . SPOILER SPACE FOR FANFIC "A CHANGE WOULD DO YOU GOOD" . . . . . . . .

She's definitely going to stay in contact with them, especially Quinn. Having Quinn deal with the fact that both her sister and her best friend are now Jane's friends is too much of a challenge to resist.

-Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

Oh, one other piece of advice:

When you split up the dialogue so that each speaker gets her own paragraph, try adding some description of what the characters are doing while they speak, such as facial expressions or body language; occasionally describe things going on around them. That adds to the verisimililtude and breaks up the long blocks of "Jane said / Sandi said / Daria said" that you would otherwise get because you want to make it obvious who says what :)

Corvus Marinus wrote:

Spoiler Alert:

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Nice job, Corvus! Definitely an intriguing way of making Sandi more than just a cold-hearted bitch. Like everyone else, I'd suggest putting it up on Outpost Daria.

Belle Book

I liked it, but one minor gripe.

When the quotes switch to a new character, you really _need_ to start a new paragraph. This is not just a grammatical rule, it has an important purpose. Without it, it is a major headache to figure out who is saying what. You should fix this before posting it to one of the fan fic boards.

"Jordan S. Bassior" wrote in message news:[email]...

new

purpose.

should

Consider us your beta readers at this point...

:)

Firah

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid [email] (Jordan S. Bassior) did write in news:[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

Thanks for the comment! Martin Pollard pointed out the same thing. As I mentioned in my reply to him, I originally wrote the story using a word processor and collapsed some of the dialogue into paragraphs out of space considerations, but readability is definitely more important.

Yours, Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

Know all men by these presents, that the aforesaid [email] (Belle Book) did write in news:[email], on the date of 16 Jun 2001:

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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I E-mailed it to Martin yesterday, and I'm working on the follow-ups. I may do some illustrations if I work up enough nerve...

Yours, Mark Steese a/k/a Corvus Marinus

I got douche chills reading that sodding pile.

Sandy is a cunt and you will never change her, she is a beacon of white power.

Bernie

Bernie said:

You're a hermaphrodite, then?

See, now that's your problem. You should read _words_ instead of "sodding piles."

power.

Actually, racism is one bad quality Sandy has _never_ demonstrated.

So let's see. We know you're British (the "sodding" is a dead giveaway), that you think that people are scared by skinhead ranting (actually, most Americans think skinheads are just plain laughable) and that you aren't very bright but think you are ... Adam?

In article , [email] (Jordan S. Bassior) wrote:

Maybe there's a black fashion editor on the staff of Waif magazine that she likes.

Steve Cross

Steve Cross wrote:

STOP FEEDING BONER.