Hello all... wow I'm nervous... this is like my third or fourth post here and already I'm posting a fanfic. I just spent all weekend reading other people's fanfics and now I've got one of my own banging around my head demanding to be let out. So, here it is. One of the things that I was after when I read fanfics was some... exploration of the Daria/Trent dynamic. Not necessarily them getting together, just some exploration. It seemed that half the time they did get together that it was extremely sudden, and the other half of the time it was due to some trauma inflicted upon another character -- mostly Jane sick or vanishing, occasionally Quinn getting raped -- when, looking for comfort, Daria and Trent fall into each other's arms. In a few of the rest (and most of you know which ones I'm talking about) Daria commits suicide. Those stories are very short and brutal -- the literary equivalent of a two-by-four. Hopefully, in this story, I've managed -- at least a little -- to a) write a semi-long story that involves Daria's suicidalism, and b) to tell more about Daria and Trent without having them just fall into bed. I'm sorry that it's not polished, I'm sorry if it doesn't fit with people's image of Lawndale (Audience starts to fidget), I'm sorry if the whole fanfic thing was a fad that's over, I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to post it here, I'm... (Audience: GET ON WITH IT!)
key: ("Voiceover thinking") [Author's notes]
The Slow Knife
ACT THE FIRST
--- Standard opening, theme song, etc. Daria in... "The Slow Knife"
---
One disgustingly bright morning (a Thursday, to be exact) in Lawndale, Daria Morgendorffer woke and, for no apparent reason, began to sing. "Oh me, oh my, a lovely day is dawning. Oh, what a joy I didn't wake up dead. So I can go to school and then resume my yawning, and get my sleep in class instead of in my bed." She was about to pull the covers over her head when she noticed the rest of her family staring at her from the doorway.
[Yes, this is stolen from "Daria!"]
Later that day, she was walking home from school with Jane.
"Wait. You're telling me you woke up and..."
"Burst. Into. Song. We've been over this."
"Why Daria, how shinyhappy of you."
"Grr."
"Now you sound like Upchuck."
Jane had to duck Daria's half hearted punch.
"Can you imagine how silly it would be if everyone burst out in song?"
"Lawndale becomes a musical, next on Sick Sad World."
Daria had to crack a smile at that one. "If Sick Sad World ever decided to
come here, they could get an entire season just out of Lawndale High. Ms. Li,
Mr. DeMartino; Not to mention the Fashion Club."
Jane smiled. "Do you know why you woke up and burst into song?"
"Don't say that so loud. I have a reputation to maintain. And, well, I was
having that dream again."
"Dream? Oh, you mean the one about you and Tre--"
Jane was suddenly forced to duck again.
"No. The one with all the holidays."
"Oh. Daria, what have I told you about those mushrooms?"
"Things almost as weird have happened to me in real life."
"Name one."
"Upchuck. The piercing. The rash. Close encounters of the peanut-butter kind."
"Oh."
"Never was able to get the smell out of those jeans."
They got to Jane's house.
"Want to come in for a while?"
Daria smiled again. "No... I ... um ... have something to ... um... take care
of at home..."
"Oh. Well then... I'll see you... tomorrow morning...?"
"Um..."
Daria hesitated for a long few seconds. Jane turned to her. "Daria?"
"Yeah, sure. Uh.. Jane...I ... uh... "
Daria turned to face her friend. Her best friend. Her only friend.
"Jane, I wanted to let you know... being friends with you ... is the best
thing that's ... ever happened to me."
Jane was startled by the emotion from her cynical and sarcastic friend. She
tried to cover her surprise with a little sarcasm of her own. "Why, Daria,
don't get all mushy on me."
"I mean it." And to Jane's surprise, and a little bit of Daria's, Daria
reached out and embraced her friend.
Jane was now seriously worried. As she returned the hug, she managed to say,
"Daria, this sounds like a farewell speech."
Daria broke the embrace and started walking down the street. "I'm okay.
Everything's okay. Just... Just tell Trent... I love him." A faint smile
crossed her face, and stayed there as she turned and disappeared down the
street.
"Daria... ?!"
Some time after Daria had left, Jane finally remembered to pick her jaw up off
the ground. ("Now Daria would never admit that to me, much less
_tell_me_to_tell_Trent_ unless something were horribly wrong.") She went in the
house and got her second surprise of the hour. Trent was awake. And coherent.
Jane froze in mid-step, ran outside, ("Yep, still sunny.") and came back in.
"Trent. It's... daytime. What are you doing up?"
"Late rehearsal."
"Oh. Did you ... hear... me and Daria talking?"
"No."
"I'm worried about her."
"Why?"
"She was showing emotion."
"And?"
"This is Daria. She turned to sarcasm in order to -avoid- emotion."
"Huh."
"She did say that 'everything's okay,' but I still..."
Trent jerked his head up. "She said -what-?"
"I'm okay. Everything's okay. Unquote."
"Jane, that's just what Mike said the last time we talked."
"Mike? Mike who?"
"Remember? That friend of mine who hung himself in sophomore year?"
Jane was thunderstruck.
"I went to a psychologist afterwards. He told me... suicidal people often say
things like that... because... everything -is- going to be okay for them...
they have a way out..."
"Wait a second. Why are we immediately jumping to... wait... (Flashback: Daria
saying "Just... Just tell Trent... I love him.") ...let's go!"END ACT I Commercial fadeout: Daria hugging Jane.
ACT THE SECOND
Over at the Morgendorffer's house.
Helen and Jake were still at their respective jobs, and Quinn was out. ("Probably with the Fashion Club, spending Mom and Dad's money on clothes she'll wear for three months.") Daria ran hot water into the tub. Standing naked in the bathroom, she prayed for the mirrors to fog up so she wouldn't have to look at herself. She knew how ugly she was, and didn't need to be reminded of it. ("Actually, better get my swimsuit so they don't go blind when they drag my corpse out of here.") She went to her room, but all she could find was her old swimsuit. ("Hmm, I last wore this before puberty.") It still fit. ("Surprise surprise.") That was when the tears started to fall, but Daria hardly noticed. After so many years of repressing her emotions behind a wall of sarcasm, stuck together with lofty arrogance, it almost felt good to let things out. As good as anything could feel. She opened a drawer and pulled out an X-Acto knife. Jane's X-Acto knife. She'd heard that the sharper the knife, the less painful the cut. ("Although anyone who'd know for real wouldn't have lived to tell.") She also pulled out an almost-empty bottle of Excedrin PM, and a small tape recorder. ("Maybe I'll leave something memorable in my last words.") Sitting in the tub in the bathroom, she began to speak. *click* "Ahem. I, Daria Morgendorffer, being of sound mind and body, do hereby declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. Ahh... to hell with that. Well, if anyone else is hearing this, you're probably wondering why I killed myself. I'm an outcast, my family is dysfunctional, and I don't have a chance in hell of ever being happy. They say the only thing harder than saying goodbye... is never getting the chance to, so... Jane, I meant every word I said this afternoon, and more. If I hadn't met you, I think I would've done this a long long time ago. I couldn't have asked for a better friend. I'll miss you. Remember what I said to tell Trent. I'm sorry I took your knife to do this, but there isn't a really sharp one in this house. Thanks for being there for me, all those times. Depressed teenager says goodbye to her one and only friend, next on Sick Sad World. As for the rest of you, Mom, Dad, Quinn, and anybody else from school who're sitting there and crying and pretending you cared for me: to hell with you. Live your lives in the knowledge that you helped cause this." *click* Daria took a deep breath, picked up the glass of water from the tubside, and swallowed eight Excedrin PM. *click* "In case anyone's morbidly curious enough, I just swallowed eight Excedrin PM. Hopefully, those will numb me enough. Also, if by some chance I don't cut deep enough or something, I'm going to position myself so that, when I pass out, I'll slide underwater and drown." *click*
Outside, Trent's car pulled up, and Trent and Jane rushed out. They found the
door locked, but Jane pulled out a key and opened it. "Daria gave me a key for
emergencies, and this counts." Inside, the house was dark. Jane grabbed Trent's
arm and pointed. "You go this way, I'll go that way."
It was Trent who walked up to the closed bathroom door. *knock knock* "Daria?"
He opened the door a little.
"Trent!?"
"Daria. Whew."
"Be quiet. Come in."
"Uh..."
"It's okay, I'm..." Daria looked at herself. ("Well, there is a -slight-
difference between 'decent' and me in a swimsuit, but...") "decent."
Trent opened the door, took two steps and froze. Daria was lying in the tub,
her face just above water level, an X-Acto knife in her right hand, pressed
against her left wrist. "Close that door. Don't yell for Jane. And don't came
any closer. One more step, and I slice!"
Trent froze. He didn't quite believe Daria, but he didn't want to see what
would happen if she was serious. "Daria... why?"
Daria looked at him. "Trent... do I really have to answer that?"
"Daria. You're young, you're smart, you're"
Daria cut him off, "I'm ugly, my parents are neurotic, my sister is ... is
.... is my sister (which is the worst thing I can say about her) who claims me
as her cousin twice removed and the only people in the world who care about me
are Jane and you."
"Is that... any of that... that bad?"
"Trent, you lucked out. Even when your parents are around, they leave you and
Jane alone, you've actually got a cool sister, and you're got more friends
than... than I'll ever have."
"Said cool sister is your best friend."
"Only friend."
"Friend, anyway."
"Besides, I... I... have this crush on... this guy... and he doesn't seem to
get it."
"Ooh... lucky guy."
Daria raised an eyebrow. "For not getting it?"
"No. For... well." Trent took a deep breath and hitched one leg up on the
counter. "For one of the coolest highschoolers I've ever met having a crush on
him."
Daria's eyes closed briefly. "Oh, Trent..."
Trent simply looked at her, and their eyes locked.
"Trent..." Daria's grip on the razor tightened. "It's you. I love... you.
Goodbye." And the razor began to cut into her flesh.
Trent gaped. Jane had called him oblivious sometimes, but still... snap out of
it Trent Lane, she's doing it! "Daria! No! Stop!" Daria froze. The razor
was already embedded in the flesh of her left wrist "...I LOVE YOU TOO!"
Elsewhere in the house, Jane's head whipped around. "Either Trent fell asleep
and is having a really weird dream, or..." She charged towards the bathroom.
Back in the bathroom, Daria was staring at Trent. "You mean it?"
Trent took a deep breath and looked away from her. "Yes. Yes I do."
"You're not just saying that to..."
"I respect your intelligence more than that."
Daria's eyes shut again. A tear leaked from her right eye. "Write a song for
me, kay Trent?"
"Daria!"
Jane picked that moment to walk in. Seeing Daria (apparently) naked in the tub
and her brother sitting on the counter ("Crying!? Yowch!") took her completely
aback. "Uh... am I interrupting a ... 'moment' here?"
Daria, about to finish herself, took time out for one last oneliner. "Uh, no,
I'm just talking to your brother, half naked, and with your X-Acto knife in my
arm. Hey Trent, didn't I tell you to lock that door?"
Jane's jaw dropped for the second time that day. She took a couple steps
closer to Daria.
"Jane, freeze right there. Either of you gets within ten feet, the long
running nightmare that is Daria's life will be permanently cut from the
airwaves."
Jane couldn't believe this. Especially with the words she'd just heard her
brother half yell, half shriek. "What the hell are you talking about, Daria?"
"Jane, you know me better than anyone. Can you really blame me?"
Jane felt like she was going to cry and scream and throw herself at the blade
in her best friend's hand, all at the same time. "Dammit, Daria, you do this,
and... and... I'll follow you!"
"WHAT!!" chorused Daria and Trent.
"I swear, you cut your wrists, and I'll pick up that X-Acto knife and cut my
own. Right here! I was about to do that before you came to Lawndale anyway!"[this comes from Jon Kilner's excellent adaptation of "Esteemsters" : "The Last Days of Solitude"]
"If you feel like your life has been worth nothing else, at least you saved
mine! Daria... please..." Jane was so broken up that she couldn't finish. Trent
held out his arms to her, and she fell into them.
"That's part of the reason I envy you two; if I were crying, Quinn would be
gloating. I hate my family."
Trent looked at Daria over Jane's shoulder. "Daria, you hate your relatives.
Your relatives are the family you're given. Your friends are the family you
choose. You're part of our family."
Daria couldn't take it anymore. She ripped the knife out of her arm (not
noticing the thin trickle of blood that promptly began to flow), leapt up and
out of the tub, and with a cry ran over and embraced her friends. ("If I'm only
fated to have two friends in this life, I'm glad it's these two.")
All three of them were crying, but Jane felt she had to do something to break
up the tender moment. "Uh, Daria, your hair is wet and you're bleeding on the
floor. And on me."That night, in Trent's bed. Trent slept on his back; Daria was curled up on her right side, with her head pillowed on his left shoulder. (note to 'shippers: no they didn't.) His left arm was around her, and her left arm stretched across him, where her left hand rested on his right hand. On his other side, Jane slept (note to pervs: no, /they/ didn't either. either pair.) on her back, with her right hand tucked behind her head, and her left hand resting on Daria's left hand, which itself was resting on Trent's right hand. A large bandage was wrapped around Daria's left wrist.
[in case anyone is wondering /why/ I'm detailing this particular scene so exactly, it was a vision of this scene in a dream that prompted me to write /this particular/ story as my first (and probably, only) fanfic.]
As Daria drifted off to sleep, she thought ("Finally. A family that accepts me
for who and what I am, rather than trying to change me. Bet their parents'
hands-off approach had a lot to do with that.")
As Jane drifted off to sleep, she thought ( "Finally. Daria and Trent. All
those years of yenta-ing paid off. Well. Here we are. A writer, a painter, and
a musician. A family.")
As Trent drifted off to sleep, he didn't think at all.END ACT II
Commercial fadeout: Jane walking in on the "moment."
ACT THE THIRD
"QUACK! QUACK!" Trent's phone was certainly a unique piece of technology. However, the two Lanes and one Morgendorffer did not want to be subjected to it at this point in time. "Carp. I'll get it." Jane was the closest. "Hello, Lane res -- oh, hi, Mrs. Morgendorffer. Yeah, she's here." Daria woke up. Realized where she was and what she was doing, she sat up sharply. Jane noticed. "We were studying for this History exam and Daria kinda crashed on my floor. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Just a sec. Let me see." Jane raised her eyebrows at Daria. Daria shook her head sharply. "No, she's still asleep - it's WHEN?!! Okay. Thanks for warning us. Yes, please, thanks. Bye... Daria? We have to leave in like... three minutes. And that's with your mom swinging by to pick us up... You want the tub or the shower?" "NO. NO. MORE. TUBS." Jane had to crack a smile.
Helen was oddly quiet, even as she drove the girls to school. She grabbed her daughter's arm as she left the car. Daria let out a yelp - it was her bandaged left wrist. "I'll be here when you girls get out of school... uh... when is that?" "Mom... um... Jane and I were planning..." "Daria. I. Don't. Care. We. Need. To. Talk." Somehow Daria realized this was more serious than usual, and her voice went that absolute flat it usually does when she represes emotions. "Okay. Sure." And gave her mom the time to get her and Jane. They walked into school. "Wow. What do you suspect your mom wants to talk to you about?" "Well. Let's see. You have your knife. We washed up the blood. We drained the tub. We got rid of the empty bottle of pills. We put away my suit. We bandaged me up and made up a story to cover the cut. As well as me spending the night at your house."
At an office in a city, Helen held a small tape recorder she found in the bathroom early that morning. *click* "Ahem. I, Daria Morgendorffer, being of ... " Helen laid her head on the desk, and cried. Not for the first time that day.
Daria froze in midstep. "Jane. Tape recorder?" "What tape recorder?" Daria bashed her head into her locker, then jerked up, hoping no one would notice. Down the hall, however, someone had done a spinning kick on his own locker (with what sounded like his own pair of steel-toes), and that had attracted attention for the moment.
[For the last three years of high school, I regularly booted my locker. IOW, author walk on alert!]
"We forgot to take the damn tape out of the triple damn tape recorder." "Tape? What tape?" Daria went emotion-holding monotone. "I, Daria Morgendorffer, being of sound mind and body, do hereby declare this to be my Last Will and Testament." "Oh. Shit." Daria couldn't resist a bit of sarcasm. "Why, Jane. I didn't even know you /knew/ that word." "I also know it in French, German, and Japanese."
After school, Jane and Daria found Helen waiting for them. Before Helen even started the engine, she turned around to the back seat. "Daria, I found something. Very disturbing. In the bathroom. This morning." "Yes, mom." "Jane? Would you ... happen... to know anything about this?" "I was there, Mrs. Morgendorffer." "You were /there/? And you didn't try to stop her?!" "She's still alive, isn't she?" "Uh..." "I -and- my brother -both- showed up just in time." They arrived at the Morgendorffers' house, and sat down around the dining room table. "I'm just worried about you, Daria." "I'm fine... now... Mom." "Have we really been that bad parents?" "Mom. You don't want me to answer that." "Daria?" "I'm the one with a future. I'm the one with the intelligence and the drive to make something of it. It... it sickens me to watch Quinn, yet... yet sometimes I wish I were like her. She's /happy/ and I'm not." Jane leaned over. "I can make you just like Quinn. First, I smash you over the head with a brick." "Daria. Just promise me. If you ever feel like that again... you'll talk to me or someone about it?" "Yeah."
Daria and Jane walked into Jane's house. They noticed Trent, passed out on the couch. "Geez. Don't take this wrong, Jane, but Trent..." "Yeah, I know. Needs more caffeine in his bloodstream." "Yeah. Sick Sad World?" "In five minutes. You know, your mom really surprised me. I was expecting a full psychiatric team there to grab you and wrap you up in that backwards white jacket with the long sleeves." "She threatened that while you were in the bathroom. I told her, she ever tried that, it would only function to make me more suicidal. And bitter. And frustrated." "Ah." Daria indicated Trent. "You know, he does look kinda cute like that." Jane just raised an eyebrow. "Just checking to see if he's awake... see if he blushed or something. You know, I still don't quite believe what he said in the bathroom yesterday. Maybe it was just to keep me from ... making a stupid mistake." Jane just looked at her brother, then at her friend. "I do love him... but I still... don't know ... if he loves me." Daria and Jane headed for Jane's room, whence came "He has a Celeron 550, a 27 gig hard drive, and a cable modem, and all he does is download illegal games, MP3s, and porn. Warez puppies: next on Sick Sad World."
[I actually know people like that.]
Trent opened one eye slightly, then both. He -had- been awake. Quietly, he said "I do. I do love you, Daria. Trust me. And... when I've matured enough to be worthy of you... then I'll prove it to you." Daria froze on her way into the kitchen on the snack run. She peeked in on Trent again, but he appeared to be sound asleep.
THE END
la la LA la la
Well, that's it guys. Tell me what you think, please. Thanks to everyone who's written Daria fanfics, good and bad, especially to Michelle Klein-H�ss, who "Lawndale, CT" arc made me certain that I was going to write this, and to Katherine Goodman and Kristin Wegner for "Untitled 1." (begin boring pseudo-legal stuff) This story copyright (c) 1999 by Ben Yee, aka [email], to the following extent. Although no copyright is claimed over any of the characters used in this story, copyright is claimed over the specific events original to this story and to the text described those events. This is a work of fan fiction, so MTV, please don't sue me, although I own nothing of value to satisfy you. This text may be freely distributed in any forum, provided that the following three conditions are met: first, the entire text, unmodified, is thus distributed; secondly, that no charges are levied specifically for access to the story or it's containing webpage; and third, that the author is notified by e-mail for any posting on a webpage. (end boring legal stuff) If I get enough fan mail, I may do a sequel or another story. Ja ne!