I went out with a guy last night a part of me wishes you'd ask me where I was so I could tell you about all the things that we didn't do
how he tried to steal a kiss and how he tried to get to know me but I was too distracted with a guilty conscious letting my mind wonder why I kept wishing it were you
a faceless person that has taken a piece of me a void that I can't seem to fill
I hear voices in my head telling me how wrong and how crazy I am for feeling the way I do
I let myself miss out on all these things I should have been doing because I'd rather sit around and talk to you
sometimes I wonder if I should stop messing around with you because it only seems to bring me more pain of all those feelings I had of our unclear past
but then I realize that your friendship means more to me then messing with what we have by bringing it up and making you feel awkward
so instead, I sit in silence staring at someone else pretending I'm having a good time he slips right through me and I don't even stop to blink
I tell myself every thing is ok when inside I'm screaming beating myself up for having these feelings of hate and jealously and the longing that never seems to end no matter how much I try to bury it away
I'd rather play these games and feel like I have a piece of you to myself then open my eyes and accept the truth that I'm just in denial and I'll never really be with you ~
don't mind my rambling, I needed to get it out.