not now

In article , Patricia Wadley writes

<CURIOUS ORANGE>

What *actually* are "Twinkies"?

</CURIOUS ORANGE>

*HUGS* I,JM fzfpqkyivvVqppkpWqppkkivvZpzkkkvi

I,JM of The Dead Living writes:

Someone revealed the answer to this last week but I've forgotten again now.

-Shez.

In article , Shez writes

It's OK, I didn't really want to know.

I,JM :-) fzfpqkyivvVqppkpWqppkkivvZpzkkkvi

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The original answer was contained in a post from the "Daria Morgenstern" (??) thread.

Twinkies are a snack food ( & I use the term "food" VERY loosely here) -- a tube-shaped, golden sponge cake with a white filling that is supposed to resemble cream but is mostly beef lard & sugar and has the consistency of shaving cream.

(If you're out of shaving gel & your legsor face are getting a little on the furry side, that creme filling will do in a pinch! And if you nick yourselff shaving -- that sponge cake is more absorbent than cotton or tissues. Hell, it could probably suck up an oil spill!)

(Oh, the stuff I learned in Girl Scout camp!)

(Sorry-- that's probably WAAAAAY more info than you want to know! 'Pologize.)

Anyhow --the ingredients on the Twinkies label are as follows:

"Containing enriched flour (niacin, iron (ferrous sulfate), thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin), water, sugar, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated vegetable and/or animal shortening (contains one or more of: canola oil, corn oil, cottonseed oil, soybean oil, beef fat), eggs, and dextrose, and also containing no more than 2% of modified food starch, whey, leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate), salt, starch, yellow corn flour, corn syrup solids, mono and diglycerides, dextrin, calcium caseinate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, cellulose gum, polysorbate 60, wheat gluten, lecithin, flavors (artificial, natural), artifical colors (yellow 5, red 40), caramel color, preservatives (sorbic acid)."

Yes, some of us actually put this stuff in our bodies. (Eat too many of these & after a while you'll RESEMBLE a Twinkie.)

Anyway, I don't eat these anymore. All that long, sticky cake & all that gooey white cream stuff, it's all just too -- phallic, maybe?

HTH!  :-]

Chirping through the night (& digging up loads of marginally useful information),

Cricket

*SAVE DARIA!* Write to:

Mr. Brian Graden PRESIDENT of Programming MTV Networks 1515 Broadway New York, NY 10036

here's a page that does a stress test on twinkies if anyone cares :P

http://www.bibblings.com/twinkie.html

the y2k special on familyguy is a good pointer to how artificial twinkies really are too :)

"Cricket" wrote in message news:[email]...

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Oh, God. That reminded me, along with the comment about Marvel villains in the other thread. A number of years ago, Kitchen Sink Comics released a mini series called "The Worlds Worst Comic Awards". The winner for Worst Advertisement was the Hostess ads. But they pondered what would have happened if the ads had continued into the modern dark and gritty comic books. The following ad was then printed... Elektra confronts the Kingpin and he taunts her as he eats the last Twinkie in the entire city. She suddenly has a flashback to when she was a little girl. It's really nasty and suggestive, involving her uncle, the shape of a Twinkie, and the creme squirting into her mouth. She then snaps back to reality, throws a blade, and cuts off the Kingpin's head. The ad ends with her holding his severed head in her hands, sucking the Twinkie creme from his mouth. Sick stuff. :)

Michael Sears wrote:

Incidentally, have you seen that little filler bit on "Dexter's Laboratory" where they do a fake commercial for "Justice Fruit Pies" in the style of those old Hostess comic-book ads? "I, the evil Mathemagician, will kidnap all the children and force them to do homework forever!" It was *brilliant*! :-{)>

MIKE (a.k.a. "Progbear")

make GEORYN disappear to reply

"The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life." --Edith Massey

N.P.:nothing